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Pigs and Crabs

Geez, it is really cold in here. It didn’t even occur to me until a few minutes ago that the heater might not be up high enough, so I turned it up but the house isn’t warmed up yet.

My hands are numb and it feels strange to be typing. I’m in a bit of a funk today, not really sure why — woke up in a bad mood, that’s part of it. Had another guilt-dream, Damon, don’t laugh, but it was about the blond guy on Kids in the Hall. Ridiculous, isn’t it? I dreamed that I was having an affair with him, one of those obnoxious things where by the time I showed up in the dream it had already happened, so I spent the rest of the dream feeling terribly guilty but not able to do anything about it, which is how I felt when I woke up, not much fun.

Todd found out yesterday that he’ll probably have to go on a business trip this weekend, which has us both a bit grumpy because we know how much we’ll miss each other. In four years we’ve never been apart for that long. Oh, and I can’t access my email, which is making me crabby too. All in all, a kind of dreary day.

One good thing did happen, though, I found out that a cousin of mine, who is studying to be a doctor and who I like very much is going to be studying in this area. I haven’t seen her since I was thirteen, and I’m very much looking forward to seeing her again. Strange, too, because no one who knew me then (except my father) has seen my life here. Oh, wait, I guess a friend from high school did. We’re not friends anymore — when I realized that her priorities in life were 1) ensure that she garnered compliments on the way she looked in a miniskirt and 2) make her pig of a boyfriend happy THEN 3) pursue school and a career, and I swear to god they were in that order, I wrote and said I thought that both of us had changed too much to be friends anymore, and she agreed. She was the one who introduced Marian and I, and ironically for years Marian and I couldn’t stand each other because we were so busy competing for her attention. Then, I’m not entirely sure what happened — maybe the pig of a boyfriend happened on the scene and we were both out in the cold? — we realized that the two of us were the ones who had a thousand things in common and enjoyed each other’s company tremendously. Marian got tired of letters full of detailed descriptions of compliments about this woman’s legs in a miniskirt too, even before I did. The whole idea of being flattered by that is so alien to both of us that aside from being disgusted that this woman was flattered by it we both simply had nothing to say in response, aside from, “Oh…uh…well…hm…”

Maybe I’ll start painting the dark purple bedroom today. It turns out that we have a bunch of primer and a paint roller left over from painting the rest of the house. Blah, blah, blah.

Flattened Old Futon

Uninspiring Worry