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Todd wants to be David Attenborough when he grows up

My driving skills are drastically improving. I mean it. Aside from the time yesterday that I stalled out in first gear while trying to turn right at an intersection and ended up driving over the curb, I’m doing great! Okay, maybe I’m not improving as fast as I’d like to, but at least I have a sense of humor about it now. Just hope I don’t learn to parallel park in your neighborhood…

From the silliness file:

(Sage and Todd are watching a nature video they borrowed from the library.)

David Attenborough, the host: Many rodents live in this tall grass, including this mouse. Insects, too, find a convenient home here.
Sage: That is a BIG spider. I hope they’re not going to show the mouse being caught in its web.
David Attenborough: Deer find excellent grazing in the tall grasses.
Sage: Hell, if this were Fox they’d show the spider eating the deer…

This weekend we went to see a movie (I drove, so we circled the entire strip mall parking lot a couple of times while I figured out how to get from point A to point B) and were tickled to see two women in their eighties or thereabouts standing in front of the poster for the movie we were there to see talking about how it was “disgraceful” and “terrible” and “how can people watch that sort of trash” and then buying tickets for “Vegas Vacation”, like there’s a movie with some real intellectual content. We were there early and watched the pre-movie pre-fabricated-conversation-maker slide show that consists of movie questions interspersed with ads. One of the ads, for a jewelry store, featured a woman behind the jewelry store counter talking to a teenage girl wearing one of those annoyingly tiny backpacks that are currently all the rage. Todd and I both immediately said, “What’s the story behind that photo?” because years ago I read a book on advertising which advised the reader to ask themselves what’s just happened in print ad photographs. I decided she was selling her grandmother’s heirloom brooch in order to go to Macy’s and buy a real backpack.

Later on, two men started working their way towards the front of the theater and I poked Todd and said, “Watch this,” and yes, true to form they sat down with one seat between them so that no one would think they were there together. Or that they had anything in common. Or that, if they were sitting next to each other, that they would have the urge to do anything more than beat each other up. What is wrong with people? I can’t imagine going to a movie with Marian and sitting that far away from her — christ, how would I make snide comments about the movie? My reaction to the prospect of gaybashing is to exaggerate whatever behavior might get a negative reaction. Case in point: one of my mom’s friends came to visit me at school. As she and her sweetie were driving away she poked her head out the window and shouted, “I love you!” and a group of kids started to snicker, so I yelled back even louder, “I love you too!” and they didn’t know what to do with that. I was supposed to slink away, embarrassed and frightened, and I didn’t. They didn’t say a word after that.

And finally: I very rarely do this, but I want to strongly recommend a wonderful web site. Coming Out in the Heartland is maintained by Jamie Parish, who is struggling with the difficulties embodied in not only being a teenager (gad, that’s hard enough all by itself) but also the process of coming out and falling in love with her first girlfriend. With a sense of humor, no self-pity, and a hell of a lot of strength, she’s doing a great job.

Depths

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen zzzZZzzZZzz…