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Some Big Changes Coming

Submitted entry: [Todd wrote this in October of 2005, after lamenting his inability to read journal entries from 1997-1998.]

Wow - I can’t believe that Paul is now four months old. It just seems incredible that four months ago while he was with us, he was still inside Sage. And now he’s a little person out here in the world. He has his routines, his likes and dislikes, and is totally and utterly fascinated by the world. And wow, did he ever change our lives. (I guess you could say he’s teaching us something in the process.)

A few developments have happened since last writing. First off, it seems we have finally figured out how to avert the 7PM freakout. For the new readers, you might remember that for the past few weeks, Paul has had a rather difficult routine. I get home from work at about 5:30 - Paul, Kite, and Sage usually meet me at the bus stop around the corner from the house and then we all walk home together. I cook a bit of dinner and then like clockwork, Paul starts in with an inconsolable crying fit at 7:00 PM. It lasts probably a half hour or so and there didn’t seem to be anything that could be done. We had a few theories as to what was going on. I thought it could be the transition from the quiet day with mom and granny to a bit more noise and change in dynamic when I get home. Kite was of the feeling that it was a bit bigger than that - that it was that the feel of the whole neighbourhood changed as everyone came home from work, the sun went down and everything changed - sights, sounds, smells, and even just the general psychic “feel” for lack of a better word. Last week, though, we decided to try to anticipate it and do something different. So at about 6:40 I bundled him up (have to keep the “sock police” from bugging us), popped him in the sling and we went for a walk throughout the neighbourhood. I’m not sure if it was the fresh air, the time spent “just the two of us” or if it was something totally different but since we figured that out there haven’t been those fits anymore. It has been really nice and I have to admit it is lovely to have a routine spending time together.

In other, more exciting news, we’ve started some wheels turning on a very exciting decision. It all started last month when my company selected me to go to Denver for five days for Lotus Notes administrator training. It was a fun trip and I was very flattered to have been sent. However, when I got back, I was seriously on Paul’s shit list. Like our cats used to be after Sage and I would head off to New England for a weekend, he totally scorned me - didn’t want to be held, didn’t want to have anything to do with me for a couple of days. It was really sad. But in retrospect, I guess it must have seemed like I was gone forever. After all, at that point I’d been gone something like 7% of his entire life. To put that into perspective, that would be like Sage deciding to go away for a “quick” two year visit.

Anyway - Kite, Sage, Paul, and I were sitting in the back yard chatting the other night about this very thing when Kite asked me if I ever really did intend to move to the Ozarks. I said that certainly I did, but that it would have to be in about five years since we have a four year loan on this car, and we need to save up enough for a good down payment on a house and some funds to take care of ourselves while we get started. Then she asked - “why wait?” and I thought for a few minutes. And it occurred to me that I really didn’t need to wait and mostly what I was waiting for was for me to feel “ready” - and that there was no risk involved. And that wasn’t ever going to happen. When I mentioned this to Kite, she was reassuring and let us know that there was a whole community of people down there who would be very supportive and welcoming of us. She also mentioned that she could help us with basic needs - food and other necessities as we get started. She also mentioned that as far as she knows there is nobody down there doing computer repair and that that would very likely be something that they could use.

So anyway, I’m planning on resigning at the beginning of the year. At this point I figure we have about $14,000 in the 401k - enough to take out the money, pay the penalties, pay off all of our credit cards and leave about $10,000 left to figure out how we’ll live. I’m leaning towards strawbale construction as it looks relatively simple - like giant legos, really. And properly built it is sturdy and well insulated.

So I’m a bit anxious, of course. And it is a bit of a plunge to essentially throw away our fairly good credit rating by giving the car back to the bank but to me it is totally worth it. I am really looking forward to actually spending time with my family.

Not much else is going on. Our routine is pretty much the same as it has been since Paul was born. He’s sleeping through the night (mostly) though he does wake up 2-3 nights/week for an hour or so because he needs to poop. So Sage and I sit up with him and read aloud to each other. If he looks like he’s going to stay up for a really long time Sage and Paul go downstairs and I get a bit of sleep before work. Kite usually wakes up before we do and spends a bit of time on the computer catching up on her email and reading the old “Words of the Tyrtle” content she never got to see before. A few times she has brought up breakfast - cardamom scented oatmeal and frybreads which we’re just starting to be able to share with Paul.

Anyway - I should head out soon. Paul went to sleep an hour or so ago and that means he is likely to wake up in the middle of the night and I want to get a bit of sleep beforehand. I’ll keep you posted as to how my boss takes the news that I’m leaving.

© 1998 QN Podcast (formerly Quirky Nomads).