That was too unnerving.

Submitted entry: No weather report today, I’m as sick of writing it as you all are of reading it. Woke up this morning with something of a sinus headache - it was pretty warm all night and dry too so that probably was it. Sage watched Paul for a while and then she & Kitey went to the house while I tried to have a nap. 45 minutes later I felt worlds better despite being awakened by the flies that have started gathering in everyones’ houses these days (who knows why).

Then I wrote a bit of email while I had my coffee then went off to the house to see if Paul wanted to walk in the woods with me. He didn’t - he wanted to nurse to sleep which he promptly did while Sage and I worked on one of our clients’ websites. Paul woke up later and we spent the better part of the afternoon in the woods.

I swear he’s going to be a rock climber someday. His new thing he likes to do is to hang out in the dry creek bed and play with rocks. But one day he saw me scaling the 6′ high rock wall where the waterfall used to be. He decided he wanted a go at it and walked over the wall. After helping him up the first stretch where there were no footholds and the incline was backwards he got about 3 feet up whereupon he took off on his own, finding and testing footholds while I spotted him from below. When he got to the top I ran up behind him and we walked up the dry creekbed further. We did this until he decided he didn’t want to walk anymore when he asked to be back in the sling. And so we went - up and down, in and out of the sling until we walked upstream to the garden.

Garlic is already sprouting with the heat despite the lack of water. Paul wandered around the garden and then he got an idea - he wanted to nurse. So he pointed us home. I swear he has a great sense of direction that I’ve seen on more than one occasion. A means by which he is able to point in the precise direction of where he wants to go despite it being far out of site and the fact that our current position was reached by circuitous means.

So that was the day, except for cooking and cleaning and the like. At least until about an hour ago when we decided to try out the Coleman lantern we’d been given. It’s an old model so we had been working with Coleman tech support to find the right mantle for it. They graciously sent us a pack for free and we finally installed it and filled it with fuel. Then we lit it. Bad idea. There was no warm glow but a bunch of blue flames inside the chamber. I turned it off but it still burned. I really didn’t like the idea that here I was with a burning lantern on top of a pressurized tank of fuel. Fortunately Sage brought me out a bit of water and I extinguished it, put the fuel back in the gallon container and put the whole mess under the yurt. That’s it - we’re never doing anything but candles, kerosene lamps and someday maybe solar electric lights. That was too unnerving. We’d thought of getting an Aladdin lamp but heard a story of a friend who fell asleep with it on and woke up to find the whole thing on fire. So there you go.

So that brings us up to now where dinner’s cooking (curried chickpeas and rice) and we’re all getting ready to eat and go to bed…

I have to do my best not to get my hopes up.

Submitted entry: Probably you’re sick of not only hearing me talk about the weather but for me to talk about the weather and it being the same. Instead of the usual 50 degree November days we’re getting the 75 degree ones. And it looks like it will be at least in the 60’s for the forseeable future. Go figure. It’s really weird for me, having grown up in cold climates anyway to have November be this warm.

Sage is asleep with Paul - they’ve been asleep for almost 2 hours now. I’ve made dinner, barbequed soybeans (no really, they’re good!) and rice and will wake her up soon. The yurt is really warm as we have a small fire going as well as the stove heating everything up.

Speaking of fires - we had a successful night last night - the yurt stayed about 60 degrees (while it was in the low 30’s) and I only had to put wood in the stove twice. It really helps to have people with experience around. I once had dreams of doing this somewhere else, Maine, Vermont, Upstate NY, even the Poconos of Pennsylvania but WOW - we’re so unprepared. Without so many people around willing to show us how to do things we’d be lost.

Had a good online chat with my brother last night. We don’t talk much as he’s busy and I’m at the yurt, and on top of that we spend much of the time just blabbing about small talk and it often feels like we’re skirting around some major issue that’s bugging him. Tonight it didn’t feel that way for a change. That, and we talked for 90 minutes - the most I’ve talked to him since I last saw him in July of ‘97. He talked about visiting or even trying to find an internship down this way in the summer. It would be so great to see him but I have to do my best not to get my hopes up. He hasn’t actually visited us in maybe 8 years (okay, he’s only had his drivers’ license for 4 of those) but there have been several almost visits that got cancelled at the last minute for one reason or another.

Another short entry - I like doing these regularly but depending on what happens on a particular day it can be a bit short. (sorry!)

The stove needs to be sealed.

Submitted entry: I swear they spent a full hour this morning on the local radio station talking about the lack of rain and the threat of fire here. There hasn’t been a decent rain here in four months and it shows. It shows not just in the dry creeks and springs but in the people. I’ve never lived anywhere where people were wanting it to rain so badly or where I’ve wanted it to rain so much (but snow would be better!).

Sunday night it got pretty cold again and hoping to warm the yurt well for the night we loaded the stove full and shut the damper and thermostats. Ten minutes later instead of a warm, slow burning fire we had a glowing stove. The entire bottom half of the stove was red hot and even a little of the chimney was starting to turn red (you bet I was scared!). The fire inside was going so well it was roaring loudly. Fortunately it was just a short time but in that time the temp. went up to 92 inside.

But that experience pointed one thing out to us. This stove needs to be sealed so it can be shut down. Okay, so I didn’t know that until today but…

I don’t know about you but I read the stories in Mother Earth News and the like that are along the same lines as what I’m writing now - back to the land sort of deals. And all of them intimidate the hell out of me. Everyone seems so competent and like they were born building homes from tin cans or building log cabins. Every book I read was the same too - raw confidence and complete competence in things I’ve never dreamed of. Well you don’t have to worry about that here. I’ve got hardly any of those things *grin*.

Since we hooked up the stove we’ve found it really easy to start and keep lit but it really burned hot, fast and had to be fed frequently. No shutting it down all night and maybe putting a stick in when you go out to pee. This stove was cold in 2 hours no matter how hot it was when filled. We asked Crow and Kitey about this and they knew immediately. That stove has lots of air leaks in it, and “remember when we said you should put that ropey gasket stuff in?” Well, we bought the gasketing material but didn’t use it so here’s what we were told had happened:

The chimney is really tall - like 15 feet high - and it has to be to clear the yurt roof. It’s all 6 inch pipe except right at the stove which is 5 inches. This is good in a way - it creates a huge draft. Air rushes in the stove and out the chimney. No worries about backpuffing here (where smoke belches back into the room). The down side is that the stove didn’t have any seals in it so when we started a fire the chimney sucked air through the stove creating something of a little blast furnace. Great if we wanted to make glass or something but not much to heat with.

So Kitey helped us out today installing the gasketing and giving us tips for keeping it running and hot. And sure enough it is doing great. It goes for hours with hardly any tending and stays nice and hot.

The funniest part of the whole thing is when taken in the context of this other story about Casey who asked us on Saturday if we could find a proxy server (internet sharing) program that would not require her to walk to our computer and have to manually dial the ISP. Sage and I both went - “It’s not dialing automatically - what’s wrong with it” and fixed it that day. The funny part is that’s what we thought about the stove. We both thought that it was going to burn so much wood for so little heat and that it would burn out really fast. However we got the same sort of answer - “it isn’t doing that already?” Go figure.

That’s about all the news that I have the energy to talk about now. It’s a little after 9:00 and I’m flagging. If this entry seems disconnected it’s because I’ve been asleep the past two paragraphs..

Sunny, still too warm and dry.

Submitted entry: Yes, that says it all really with regards to the weather. For a day or two at a time this kind of weather would be gorgeous and on some level I still appreciate it but for the past few days it’s been in the 80’s and we’ve even been able to sleep with the door open some nights - forget using the wood stove. The worst part, though, is the lack of rain - it’s been over four months now without any appreciable rain (maybe 2-3 actual storms totalling about 2″ of rain). Creeks are dry, springs are drying out, fire warnings and outside burn bans are in place. This land feels so different in a drought. There’s something about having the creek running that is soothing - and it’s been about 3 months since there was any water in it, even standing stagnant.

Also hunting season is gearing up and that makes the land feel a bit hostile and dangerous. The neighbors are doing target practice or something and as such the air rings with gunshots for hours at a time some days. I feel worried about walking outside much beyond the house and yurt as I don’t know where they’re pointing the guns and the bullets don’t respect land boundaries. Fortunately it won’t be forever or anything.

Sage and I have had yet another revelation, this time in the child discipline realm. Our intention is to do the best job we can at it, being able to set boundries for Paul while at the same time not hurting him in the process - and physical discipline is completely out of the question. So now that he’s walking and now that there’s a hot woodstove in the room our first challenge has occured. He wants to touch the bricks it sits on (he realizes it’s too hot to touch) and to play near it. For a long time he wasn’t responding to anything short of taking him away (usually upset) and repeating the process over and over and over until we were all sick of it. So we knew that this wasn’t working and we needed outside help. Enter Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha. I think I might have recommended their book “The Baby Book” earlier in the journal as a really good book on attachment parenting. Well, we borrowed another of their books, “The Discipline Book” from a friend and what a revelation it was! He talks about how to respectfully set rules and boundries for a child keeping very much in mind what they’re able to understand at the particular age they’re at. The first and foremost thing is don’t set the child up for failure. i.e. Don’t put your knives on the floor and then be mad at them when he plays with them. This would have worked except the stove is where it has to be and even a barrier would just be something for him to climb over. (This did work with his eating cat food and dumping their water. Now the cat food and water stay inside at night (to keep the possums, armadillos and skunks from eating us out of house and home) and bring it all outdoors before he wakes up.)

So here’s our solution to the woodstove issue which is particularly a morning issue now as it’s generally too warm to run it all day.

Sage often wakes up before me and starts the stove, moves the cat stuff outside and maybe starts breakfast if we haven’t woke up yet (usually we do). Then I go sit in front of the stove, which is not hard to motivate myself to do on a cold morning! Sage cooks breakfast (which is about all she’s up for - she’s often a bear in the morning being ravenously hungry after lots of nighttime nursing on Paul’s part). Paul then spends some time on his own, but if he goes to the stove (where I am) several things can happen. One, he often brings me a book to read which we do near the stove staying warm and cozy as we do it. If he’s interested in the stove, one of two things happens. If the stove needs wood I ask him to get some from the woodbox (the wood’s small since the stove is tiny and he can carry it) then he “helps” us put it in the stove. If we don’t need any wood in the fire then I take him to his play area about 8 feet to the right of the stove and set him on the other side of two trunks that define the area. I sit on the side near the woodstove and we play with toys on top of the trunks. This is just one example of how this book is so helpful to us. I’d suggest that if any of you has children under 12 or so to have a look - especially if you’re practicing attachment parenting yourselves.

We have a new tool now for balancing our work and family activities here. Just after my birthday and with some money I got for my birthday we bought a pair of “family radios” - walkie talkies with a 2 mile range or so and a 30 hour battery life. Sage and I can now keep in touch when one of us is at the yurt or in the woods and the other is working on the computer. So far it’s been really useful. Not only can I tell Sage when Paul needs a nurse, someone at the yurt can ask the person at the house to bring something back from the fridge, for instance. Okay, so most of you already have this - a phone in the office and a phone in the home (and maybe even the car) but I certainly appreciate having it. Paul is really interested in it too - hearing someone’s voice that he knows without them being around. He thinks it’s funny. I often ask him if he wants to say anything to mama and hold up the radio to him. His only response so far has been to kiss the radio - so sweet!

Okay, speaking of that, he’s now awake from his nap so I’ll just end this entry here…

Warm outside, warmer inside.

Submitted entry: As I put four sticks of wood into the stove Sage said: “Actually, don’t load up the stove after all, it’s pretty warm outside.” I think it’s in the low 50’s but in here it’s already 80. It’s supposed to go down to 40-45 tonight so maybe I’ll be glad that I loaded it up after all.

Today Paul woke up at 5:45 AM. He’s really tuned in to the sun - when it starts getting light he’s up and when it starts getting dark he’s getting tired. He was asleep at about 7:00 tonight - 90 minutes after sunset. It had been a fairly cool night (about 25 outside this morning) so I had to wake up a couple times to put wood in the stove. When we all woke up we were completely out of wood. Sage, woodswoman she is, went right outside and started sawing up wood for the morning and before long filled the woodbox with not one but 2-3 days of wood. Paul and I stayed inside and watched her until I’d had enough of my coffee to move. At that point I was inspired. She looked like some sort of advertisement for a hearty breakfast food like oatmeal or something. So I made pancakes while Paul hung out in the sling.

And just a quick note about pancakes here. Our pancake standards dropped for some reason over the past months. As our pancakes got worse and worse - our last ones were nearly flat (flatter than a pancake) with gooey uncooked centers and burned outsides - we despaired of our ever making a good batch again. We tried all sorts of variations to no avail. Then we ran out of baking powder (that we’d bought at the grocery salvage place) and borrowed some from Casey. Those pancakes were the best we’d made in months! So we resolved never to buy baking powder at the salvage place again and bought it at the grocery store. Problem solved - our pancakes are wonderful. So wonderful that we look forward to them the night before (I know, we need more hobbies or something) and every time we eat them we feel disgusted that we ate the others.

So as Sage sawed wood Paul and I flipped pancakes, stoked the fire, and listened to Morning Edition. It was a lovely morning. Then I went to the house to check email and get ready for a business meeting we had this afternoon and to have a shower.

The meeting was at a place that shall remain nameless until we redo their site. Their current site is so ghastly that Sage doesn’t even want to risk someone’s even thinking that we did it. I’ll probably tell the notify people and might even tell people who ask privately. We’re going to move them to a new host revamp the site and provide them with online ordering. The meeting went pretty well and we’re excited about the prospect of our being able to help them out. Not to mention the fact that Sage is a fanatic for before/after things. So for her this is one big “before” just waiting to be “aftered”. Paul was really great at the meeting - he was patient with us most of the time. When he got restless we went for a walk about town and when he came back he had a nurse and I took over at the meeting. It’s really great that we have a job such that we can make things like that happen that we could not ordinarily do with a “real” job. All our web clients are like that - Paul is invited to the meetings and breaks can happen when he nurses.

When we got back from the meeting, Sage was really on about starting on the site so I made a deal with her. Either watch Paul while I pick up outside the yurt or you pick up outside the yurt and I can hang out with him for the hours before dinner. It worked swimmingly - Sage didn’t mind picking up (I was overwhelmed at the prospect) and in about 15 minutes it was done and she was on the computer. Paul and I went for a walk down to the creek bed (there hasn’t been water in it since about early July) and he sat and played with rocks for a really long time. We got to wander through the woods for quite some time before we had to head back and give him a new diaper.

When we were done with the walk we all went back to the yurt and started dinner. I have to say after cooking dinner for everyone at Eastwind it’s been way easier to get motivated to cook for the three of us. It all seems so quick after that big meal.

Oh, and maybe I’ll have a picture for you all yet. I was going to take a couple yesterday afternoon for the journal but the camera was full and Sage needed the pictures (it’s a pain too since in order to download pictures from the camera you have to disconnect the graphics tablet and restart the computer. Restarting the computer kicks anyone else off the internet who is on our little LAN and then it has to be restarted all over again when you’re done and want the graphics tablet back. What a pain! So one of these days I’ll take a bunch of pictures to use in journal entries and whatnot. I could have scanned an old photo in from last year before we came but that felt like cheating or something.

Oh, and tomorrow I think I might get a nap or to sleep in or something. It’s my birthday! I’ll be 29 (or as Sage tells me, one year away from 30). Am I older or younger than you expected? Sage asked what I wanted for my birthday and I couldn’t think of much of anything except perhaps a nap that I’d like but boy would that feel nice!

In the middle of dinner I had to go to the house to get a green pepper from the fridge. On the way I looked up at a persimmon tree to see if there were any ripe fruit for me to eat on the way (there weren’t. Sage later told me you’re meant to look on the ground as they’re not ripe if they’re on the tree - and she was right, BLEH!) Anyway, I was shining The flashlight on the tree branches, looking at the few fruits that were left when I heard a loud snorting sound (maybe it was closer to someone clearing their throat or hacking once) and dashing through the bushes. It really startled me and Sage thought someone was yelling at her so she came out. Nobody was yelling. According to Kitey that’s the noise that deer make. We’ve been seeing a few around on the road to the house and hearing those noises at night but never caught a glimpse of them yet at the yurt. Hopefully we’ll get a look sometime soon. I’m surprised they’re coming so close! Sage went outside to pee last night and came running back in saying she heard something big running through the bushes so it sounds like they’re coming around. Kitey says that she’s known them to be curious or interested in people and that at the womens’ land where she lives she’s known them to hang out where they could hear a television. So add one to the list of visitors to the yurt. Armadillos, Skunk (and babies), possums, and deer.

Okay, it’s 9:30 - I’ve been up since 5:45. I’m off to bed. I’m exhausted!

Halloween / Samhain

Submitted entry: Wow, a lot can happen an a week or two, can’t it? Two weeks ago I was writing about cold mornings and piles of blankets. Today things are different. It’s still cold - about 45 outside right now but I’m inside the yurt in jeans and a t-shirt since it’s now 75 degrees with a roaring fire in the stove. We finally called Pacific Yurts and asked them if it would be such a bad thing to use single-walled stove pipe instead of the metalbestos insulated pipe. After hemming and hawing they said it’d be okay as long as we used metalbestos to get through the yurt wall. No big deal. So instead of paying about $400-500 in pipe alone and then having to build an elaborate support system for the chimney we spent a total of $150 on pipe and were able to use some of the wood remaining from the yurt deck building to make the support.

So we got the pipe but still needed help setting up the chimney. We talked to Quay who helped with the deck but she was booked for weeks to come. Enter River & Ted. River heard that we needed help getting the chimney in and offered to help us in return for computer assistance. She brought her friend Ted along who also was open to bartering for the work. In three days the chimney was up and the temperature soared into the 80’s with 60 degree nights to warm us while we waited for them to finish the job. They did a fantastic job and at the end I asked River what she needed done for her computer. She said “nothing, but you needed the chimney - I’m sure I’ll need help sometime.” So there you go.

That was last week, it stayed warm until last night. We tried the stove out, roasting ourselves each time we did it until this morning. This morning Sage was so excited to use it (she’s never lived with wood heat and loves to have a fire going) she was up at 5:30 starting a fire. By the time Paul and I woke up at 6:30 the room was a toasty (relatively speaking) 60 degrees and rising while it was below freezing outside.

I’ll also second Sage’s kudos for the new work arrangement. It certainly has changed my life. I’m feeling more challenged and into what I’m doing now that I am doing that. Also, business is picking up in town with three calls in the past week alone. It’s paying to advertise (and at the prices! $3.20/column inch, you can’t go wrong - our monthly advertising budget is less than $30/month!) But it is a weekly newspaper and we’re much smaller than the one where I used to work. But I would venture to guess that the circulation as a percentage of total population is higher here than there. This paper is read by everyone. Not for the news, I don’t think. At least not the so called “real” news. I think everyone reads it for the personal news which comprises almost the whole thing. News from every little town and church parish in the area. News like “Doris Dodge’s niece Barbara Mae came to Sunday dinner at Doris’ place where the best pork roast that you’ve ever tasted was served. Dessert was persimmon pie from Doris’ persimmons.” No, really! It’s like that almost through and through with only the first two pages as “true” news.

Saturday was a scary day here with Paul. Kitey hung out with him most of the morning before leaving for the womens’ land for the week. Just before she left she said “oh, Paul ate the end of my cigarette.” Not knowing any better we just kept on with our day. Paul wanted to nap and was a couple of hours late for his so we all went back to the yurt and slept for an hour. Paul then woke up throwing up. When he finished he was pretty shaky and really lethargic. He threw up again, this time with a bunch of tobacco in it. We got a bit more worried and went to the house to call a doctor as he was seeming nearly catatonic by this point. While Sage tried to get a doctor on the line, Paul sat in my lap while I checked out about possible side effects to eating tobacco. It was rather startling. Children should be taken to the emergency room after eating one cigarette or 3 butts as nicotine poisoning can cause lowered pulse, respiration, blood pressure, seizures, possible coma and even stop one’s breathing. That was all we needed to scare us to death. We called the poison control center who advised us to get him to an ER. We talked to Casey who was in the room and she informed us that the nearest one was 60 miles away (15 of which were on a dirt road). We told the poison control person that and he said to call an ambulance and also not to let Paul fall asleep. There are five words to put fear into the heart of a parent: “Don’t let him fall asleep.” I was alternately scared stiff and really pissed at Kitey for letting this happen. Sage called an ambulance and then took Paul and walked him around the room holding his hands while he cried because we wouldn’t let him sleep. Meanwhile I ran to the yurt to get a bag packed for us all. (I should just end it here and leave the rest as a cliffhanger…) Anyway, I got the bag packed and ran back to the house where Sage said “he’s okay”. Just before I left he had thrown up for the fourth time, walked around with Sage lethargically then suddenly made a little noise, let go of her hands and ran off to play in a bowl of the dogs’ water. When I saw him this time he was still there playing in a big bucket of cold water. The ambulance came and the people were really sweet and comforting and wonderful to Paul (well, as wonderful as you can be when you have to check blood pressures on someone who is pretty possessive of his personal space). After a quick listen to his lungs and heart as well as a blood pressure check Paul had had enough and we went to the computer room to look at his favorite site while Sage talked to the paramedics who refused to charge us for the call.

Since then Sage has had a talk with Kitey about what she permits him to put in his mouth (up until now she’s been fairly permissive). The new rule is that he’s not allowed to have any non-food objects in his mouth. She was cool with that (she’s not the stereotypical “Granny knows best” grandmother!) There is a funny story about it though. Before she and Sage talked we were having a crab about the fact that she let him eat the cigarette bits. As we were doing that Paul picked up his phone and started blabbing into it going “blah blah blah DA-DA blah blah”. The only person he’s heard on the phone was Kitey so we guessed he was “calling” her to tell on us!

The next night we went to a potluck halloween/samhain celebration at a friend’s house in town. Paul got to play with their 2 year old girl (they get along wonderfully - they’re very sweet together) and we got to hang out with a couple of other parents. It was a wonderful time. Everyone ate then all the kids and two of the dads took the children trick or treating while Sage and I and the other two moms went to start a fire. This house had their fire pit on a peninsula in the middle of a pond that was about 100 feet in diameter. It was a lovely night with clouds, a gentle breeze and warm - about 65 degrees. We all sat around the fire for a while just blabbing and when everyone got back from trick or treating several of us told stories of dead relatives, friends and ancestors (as in a traditional Celtic new year celebration). At the end of Sage’s story the skies opened up and a lovely rain started at which point we all ended our gathering and headed home. Sage had had a headache most of the night and by this time it was pretty terrible (She’d been sawing wood - her new addiction, taking the disorder of dead wood around the forest and cutting it and piling it up in nice orderly stacks - without drinking enough water and was feeling pretty terrible). We got home and I felt so bad for her - not only did she feel bad we forgot a flashlight and hence we had to slowly walk down the path feeling for it with our feet as we go (I basically lead her). Fortunately she was asleep shortly after walking through the door.

Yesterday was a day of simple pleasures for me. Sage and Paul went to hang out with Kitey at the womens’ land while I went to town to shop for groceries, and go to a job. The job was easy - set up someone’s computer. The shopping was fun too - nothing more than the usual, groceries, and a couple things at the hardware store (bow saw and stove gasketing). But I had a great time. Sage is a very different shopper than I. I’m leisurely and take my time enjoying what I’m looking at. Sage is all business. Get in, buy food, go home and maybe pick up a sandwich in the middle somewhere. Not me, I browse. I took easily triple the time that Sage takes in the grocery salvage store looking for bargains on other luxury items (they’re out of the $1.69 maple syrup but I got the last of the Starbuck’s coffee!) Shopping there is always an adventure. There’s usually the usual stuff, canned tuna, veggies, tomato sauce, pasta, etc. But the real fun is in what other unusual stuff they get. I’ve seen sushi rice there, starbucks coffee, maple syrup, and gourmet salsas. This time other than the coffee the most interesting thing was the 5 for a dollar Reese’s.

Which brings us to today, by most rights a pretty boring day. Sage woke up at 5:30 too hungry to sleep so she made herself some food and (bless her heart!) started the stove up. So while she woke up at 5:30 to a 45 degree house. Paul and I woke up at 6:30 to a 60 degree house! When does it ever not pay to sleep in. Most of the day was spent working on the Bryant Creek Watershed website redesign. Other than that I won’t bore you with details of our cooking, hanging out with Paul (Total readings for “Dady Makes the Best Spaghetti”: 6 - and Sage is asleep so I can’t ask her how many she did) We’re so glad he’s enjoying books, though. He’s figuring out his favorites too. The best books have pictures of owls in them. Since he was 6 months old he’s loved the sound of owls and now knows what they look like. He’s as fascinated by them as many fourth graders seem to be about dinosaurs! After owls, he likes to read books that he can make signs for what he knows, especially birds - another favorite animal.

Oh, and with any luck I’ll have a picture or two in this entry. I know that I’ve been lax in that department and was reminded of that fact by a reader. So I’ll try to get some more photos and entries in here soon. Call it my Celtic New Years resolution.

Barely-Can-Move SAAB

It’s just ten minutes to seven am. and the sky is starting to get light. I’m the only one awake, except for Claire, who is purring madly and trying to climb into my lap. I’m having a hard time resisting starting up the woodstove — wouldn’t you know it, it finished being installed yesterday afternoon and last night must have been the warmest on record for October in this area. Sixty degrees and the sun’s not even up yet! I’m still feeling a little sniffly because I just finished The Silver Metal Lover by Tanith Lee, which has been one of my favorite books since the first time I read it over ten years ago. It’s not what it sounds like (I always feel embarrassed when I check it out in the library or buy a used copy and wish it were called something else, like A Pane of Glass. (There is a love story, yes, but it’s also about a society based on robots who can do almost any task, as long as its not artistic or philosophical, and the tatters that reduces society to.) I’ve never met anyone who had either read this book or who would read it because I recommended it. Maybe if I could convince them to name it A Pane of Glass instead…

And by the way, what the hell happened to Tanith Lee? It’s just like Suzanne Vega — one day Suzanne and Tanith were writing beautiful folk songs and science fiction books, respectively, and then POOF they turned into pop dance music and extremely creepy horror writers Ugh. What a disappointment.

Life here has vastly improved. It is so strange to realize that most of the ridiculous restrictions that I’d placed on Todd and going to the house were based on things I’d made up or misinterpreted. As Christine Lavin says, What was I thinking?

My relationship with Kitey continues to stagger on…have you ever had a relationship with someone and there are moments when everything feels so right, and good, and you’re laughing o understanding each other perfectly, and stumbling over each other’s words because the conversation is so fascinating? That’s how it is with Kitey. Sometimes.

And then there are the other times, where its awkward and strange and difficult. Which partly has to do, I know, with restrictions I’ve placed on what she can say and not say to me. I know very little about the time just before I was taken away from her, because I’ve asked her not to tell me about it For three reasons. First, it makes me cry (I know, I know, “it’s all right to cry…crying gets the sad out of you”), second because it makes me want to write nasty letters to my father, and last because I’m just not ready to know. I’ve also asked both Todd and Kitey to talk to each other when they have problems, and not me, because I end up defending Kitey to Todd or vice versa, and boy do I hate doing that.

Not that this is an unusual experience to have with her for anybody. It’s just sometimes I feel despairing that there isn’t (for me) some kind of special dispensation because she gave birth to me. Not — for the most part — the bond I feel with Paul.

But when I consider her position from my new perspective as a mom, I can hardly believe that her heart isn’t thoroughly broken. I was with her until I turned five, then not again until I turned eleven, and I don’t remember anything of the pre-five time, when we DID have a strong bond. What that feels like for her is beyond imagining.

River and Ted came over and installed our woodstove in trade for computer help. Todd asked River yesterday what-all she needed help with, and she said she didn’t have anything particularly in mind, that she mostly put the stovepipe up because she knew we needed it done and it was getting cold.

Can you imagine? Four days of driving over here in a barely-can-move Saab that she brought back from the dead, because she knew we needed the help. Not to mention Ted, who’d never met us before in his life. Community can come in all shapes and sizes, and doesn’t have to be a place you live.

I am loving this new work arrangement and am crabby that I didn’t think of it sooner. (Kitey says whenever I feel like this that perhaps it wasn’t the right time to think of it before.) Neither Todd or I wants to be the working parent, but neither of us wants to be the always stay at home parent either. So splitting up both jobs fifty fifty has been a revelation and a joy not only for us but for Paul as well.

More and more I’m realizing that for me — and for other parents too? — the difficulty of being alone with Paul is centered on my not knowing what to DO with him. This is becoming more clear to me as he grows older and is so much easier to be alone with — because he can go to the bookshelf and pick out a book and give it to me. So I can think, “Yay! He wants me to read to him!” instead of the way it felt when he was four months old and I’d read to him and he’d stare blankly at the ceiling. “Does he like this? Maybe he hates it and would rather be doing something else. But what else is there to do? …Sigh…I hope Todd or Kitey shows up soon.”

It amazes me that there aren’t more books about spending time with little ones (or maybe there are– the local library never pretended to be fully stocked).

Attachment parenting has helped in this regard so much. Not only because the sling helps us both keep him close all the time, but the intrinsic bond we both feel with a baby who nurses, sleeps with us at night, and is an integral part of our lives. Not to mention the support we get from everyone here. I can’t overrate support when you’re a parent. A sling, a big bed for everyone to sleep in, and support from those people who are important to you. Start with those three ingredients and you’re on your way.

And speaking of Paul! He’s just waking up, so I’ll let Karma into the yurt and turn off the AlphaSmart.

Tiny Pieces

Submitted entry: I’m pretty tired this morning. Not that I didn’t sleep well - I slept from about 10:00 to 7:30 or so. Better than I often did when I worked but we had a busy day yesterday. We left the yurt at about 11:30 for Eastwind and after a quick lunch we started to cook dinner. This was my first ever experience of cooking for more than maybe 10 people - we were shooting for making enough food for 70. Most of the time was spent doing prep work - I think I chopped something like 35 onions. As the time got later the pressure rose. Dinner had to be done by 6:00, much later and people get crabby.

But it all worked out wonderfully. By about 6:05 we had channa masala (chickpea curry), Baigan Bharta (mashed eggplant curry), vegetable biryani (baked, spiced rice with vegetables, raisins and cashews), dry potato curry, fresh pita bread and apple crisp. It was such a blast being a part of getting it all together and fun to work in a commercial-style kitchen for the first time.

But it was interesting. As things got more stressful I started having a really good time. It was if being in the working world for so long and in high-pressure jobs for so long had given me a taste for stress or something. Cool also to know that as a result of about 4-5 of us working on dinner the remaining 50 or so people could work on what they needed to do.

Sage spent most of the time with Paul however at about 5:00 she got pretty tired and her shoulders hurt. So that was when I took him on too. We were at a point where there was not much prep going on and lots of stirring pots, as well as testing and adjusting seasonings. So he had a good time tasting the food and “helping”. There’s a particular hold in the sling that’s really good for that - he sits on my hip behind my arms. This kept him a safe distance from the stove but close enough to watch the action.

We spent a little time after dinner hanging out but were both pretty tired so we drove on home and went to bed shortly thereafter. I’m still pretty tired, though.

Today, aside from being tired, I’m feeling that post-fun letdown that I often feel after being at Eastwind. It’s frustrating to see that while things are not utopia there, they’ve figured out many of the things that we can’t get together here. Things like how to do work while having kids and having time to ones’ self. Here I often feel like it’s all I can do to take care of Paul while Sage is working, make food, keep the house reasonably clean and write an email or two - maybe a journal or two a week. Living like that it would be easier to do other interesting work besides cooking or by cooking enable several others to do some of the things that I’d like to have happening here -things like lots of fresh garden veggies, some sort of reliable financial self-sufficiency (cottage industry), etc.

But, it isn’t going to happen today no matter what we do so I have to be patient, waiting either for another community to form locally, things to change with Eastwind’s cat population that would allow us to move there with 6 instead of 4, or for five years to pass so that we can find our way to something more fulfilling. Things will change one way or another. Paul will be able to actually help around here in a few years, for example.

Don’t mind me. I’m just tired and have had my “why are things the way they are?” buttons pushed again.

In other happenings, Sage and I have been given a game of Risk to play. With all the tiny pieces it is definitely not a game to play while Paul’s awake. We’ve had about 2 thirty minute attempts at a game so far before he woke up and we had to quit. I think we need to figure out a way to play without pieces or dice to roll and we’ll be all set.

Okay, I’m going to see if I can get over to the house and upload this. I also mean to look a the computer to figure out why it locks up with a blank screen when left for a long time. I think it has to do with the power-saving configuration so I’m going to mess with it some and possibly turn it off.

Paul’s Sign Language

Submitted entry: Well, I’m writing this entry in town for a change. I’m out alone on a business call and am picking Sage & I up a pizza for dinner. It’s pretty strange to be in town alone. Usually I have Sage and Paul along for the ride. The business call is for a local law firm that’s having a little trouble with their CD-ROM drives. Nothing big. Today was just time for me to do an estimate. I’m going back on Saturday morning to actually do the work in order that I might avoid disrupting their business. I figure with my flexible schedule a Saturday is as good as a Tuesday and as such it really doesn’t matter to me that I’m working a weekend. And I know how much it helps businesses to have those kind of calls.

Oh, and before I forget, several people have asked about Paul’s signing and particularly is he suffering from hearing loss. The answer is no. We’d read and heard from others quite a lot about the value of signing with children from a young age to get lines of communication open early. Speech is a pretty complex operation for a little one to figure out along with everything else. However, a sign of their own devising (slapping his thigh for nursing, sucking the palm of his hand for thirsty/water, blowing for fire or flapping his arms for bird) is a great deal easier for them to learn and so they pick it up pretty fast. He’s figuring out several new ones each week. If you’d like to know more, look up a book called “Baby Signs” which talks a lot about how to sign with your kids and also a little about the research that has been done about it. From my non-scientific point of view it’s a wonderful thing and I’d recommend it to anyone.

Other than that not much new has been going on. I’ve been brainstorming about how to set up the chimney - the plans we had included plans for how to support the over 100lb structure of the chimney. With the single-walled chimney the weight is probably under 20 lbs. and can actually require much less support. We’ll just need something to keep it from rotating and pointing at the ground or blowing over.

That’s good timing - pizza’s done and I’m on my way home.

Cool Outside, Toasty Inside

Submitted entry: Okay, that’s not an advertising slogan for some hip new dessert, and no, we didn’t install the woodstove yet either. The yurt warms up significantly throughout the day peaking at about 70 degrees (it’s about 58 outside). Mornings are still cool - in the low 30’s but the yurt was about 50 this morning. We were quite comfortable all bundled up for the night and as we made coffee and pancakes to start the day the gas stove began to warm the yurt.

But, fear not, the stove is coming. I have to black it (paint it) and we now have all we need for the chimney so it’s just a matter of a few days. Quay, who helped with the deck will be helping us install the chimney. Here’s the story - we finally called Pacific Yurts and asked them if we really had to use the metalbestos pipe for the chimney. They said that it wouldn’t be a big deal to use it only to go through the fabric wall and that single-insulated pipe would be okay for the remainder. Well, this cut our costs tremendously. We took back one of our 3 foot sections of metalbestos (saving the other for the wall penetration) and received a $75 credit. Then we bought all we needed of the single-walled pipe plus a stoveboard to set the stove on plus stove black. Basically everything we needed. For that we only had to pay $5 over the $75 credit. So needless to say we’re thrilled at that. We’ll be installing it this weekend or shortly thereafter.

Meanwhile the leaves are dropping rapidly - we’re almost able to see the mountain again through the trees - a big part of why we chose this site for the yurt. Hopefully I’ll get a picture before all the leaves are gone - it’s quite something. Still not much in the way of rain, though. We’ve had about 2 inches in three months - if that.

Paul is doing wonderfully - he’s making up his own signs now so his “vocabulary” is growing quite rapidly. I’d say about 20 words now. This is very helpful in both figuring out what he needs and seeing what he’s thinking. A few mornings ago he woke up, turned to Sage and did his sign for thirsty/water then his nursing signal. In other words: “I’m thirsty, I need a nurse.” I highly recommend signing with your babies - it’s such a help for us and so interesting.

We had an interesting time with our friend in town whose daughter is slightly older than Paul. (Forgive me, I haven’t asked her if mentioning her name is okay or should I paraphrase or what). So anyway Sage and I were talking with her about how I really want to live in a community and while Sage is interested she doesn’t feel as driven as I do. She said that her and her husband are in the same situation. The interesting thing about it is that she is the one who wants to live with other parents and her husband is cool to the idea. It’s interesting because both he and Sage are the working parents while she and I are the primary caretakers of the babies. So she and I are saying we need help getting through the day and doing what we want for ourselves on top of the cooking, cleaning and caretaking.

So the interesting thing is that we started to talk about doing some community-type activities without having land yet. Working together in a cottage industry, sharing meals (and even making extra to get through the week). It sounds like a big help to us and other parents we know. Then we talked about the long term - that we all want to be in something of a child-centered community with a community school or other significant educational resources. She’d been talking with someone in town here (on the other side of town) who has about 700 acres and she’s interested in having a community there (her husband is cool on the idea still). So needless to say things are developing on a lot of fronts.

It’s also interesting to see how many of my readers are giving some thought to simplifying their lives either through homesteading or moving to/establishing a community. I’d say there are at least two of each that I’ve heard of who are actively pursuing a life change with others talking about their dreams and potentially fulfilling them later in life and still others staying where they are and simplifying their lives either through reduced commercialization, cutting down hours or even as one person did where I used to work deciding to retire when I told her I resigned (and why) and following through in only a month or two.