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Thought Processes
Submitted entry: I actually have a few minutes to write since I got done with my work a little early today and so my plan is to write this, send it and then assemble the lasagne I’ve been meaning to make for days now. It would seem that I have gotten through the worst of the caffeine withdrawal now. It was about a week of achy joints (one night I could hardly walk) and headaches. I haven’t had any symptoms like that since last Thursday - about 6 days after I gave up coffee. I was told to expect 5-7 days of flu-like symptoms and headaches and I got everything I was promised.
Interestingly enough it’s been way easier this time. I am taking some Chinese herbs to help get my energy level back to normal and for that reason I think it’s being easier. I don’t feel like quite the zombie I did when I tried to quit before. Of course this time I don’t have to drive to work, work long hours and worry about being awake on the commute home. That helps a great deal I’m sure. My energy level has been way more even, actually. When I was drinking coffee I would have productive and energetic highs but could expect pretty low lows - usually in the afternoon when I was working with Paul. I’d just be praying with every cell in my body that he’d have a nap. And of course he wouldn’t so I’d have another cup of coffee or two. Those cups would keep me awake until 11:00-12:00 or so. Then I’d have to wake up at 7:00 again - tired as usual then have coffee, be awake until the afternoon crash and so on. Now I don’t feel wired at any time, but at the same time I rarely feel dog-tired as I would on a daily basis.
It’s funny, though, as I feel very different inside. Different in terms of thought “speed” and level of control I have over my thought processes. The anxiety I felt recently had a lot to do with my being fixated on possible outcomes of what’s going on in the world or a simple symptom like a cough or ache. I’d get some crazy idea and completely run with it. Now that I’ve cut out coffee I’m able to let go of those trains of thought. Funnily enough, I don’t really feel like me anymore as a result. I think that my sense of self was really based upon myself when I was really wired. And of course it would be - after much thought I realized that I’ve been drinking some form of caffeine since I was maybe twelve. In other words, I haven’t experienced life as an adult without caffeine. Scary thought, eh?
Let’s see what else is going on these days. Well, I’m in the market for a bicycle now. I have thought about it for some time anyway as our town is pretty small and it seems silly to drive across town for something, but at the same time it seems tedious to walk. A friend of ours gave us a bike of theirs to try to see if we want to buy it but unfortunately it’s a little too small. So I’m calling around and looking for something more my size and perhaps a little newer. I rode this one long enough to realize that I like having one again and that it could be quite a good thing to have. With our mild winters (okay, sometimes punctuated by horrible storms) it is likely that I could ride year round.
Oh, and we found something interesting out about our house last week. There were a couple holes in the floor in the living room that as it turns out came from the previous tenants leaving windows and doors open in rainstorms. Anyway, a person came in to fix them and we asked him about the floor in Sage’s office which isn’t very level. He said that it’s settling as that room is on a block foundation. In fact, he said, this house used to be our neighbors garage. Well, the living room and bathroom that is. They added a kitchen on one side, the office on the other and the playroom/bedroom on the back and put some nice siding on and it became the house you see above. It’s the nicest garage we’ve lived in!
Sage is still on her redecorating train. Yesterday she started repainting the bathroom. In fact, every room in this house needs painting. In Pennsylvania it was a requirement that all landlords paint in between tenants but apparently not here. Well, that mayn’t be true, actually. Our landlady offered to paint, drywall and recarpet the whole house before we moved in. The down side of that would’ve been that we’d have been in the yurt that much longer which was an uncomfortable place to be (interpersonally, not physically) and she also would’ve raised the rent. Instead we’re doing all the improvements and as a result pay only $190/month.
And now I’m off to check the pawn shop for bicycles and assemble the lasagne.
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