The Teenage Boys are All on Demerol

I am so embarassed for Jeff Goldblum. Remember a few pages back when I said I didn’t care how stupid the movie was, I just love the experience? Strike that. I saw Cats and Dogs yesterday because I stupidly assumed that Jeff Goldblum would be playing the DOG and not the DisneyDad^®.

It’s not so much that the movie was terrible (it was) or that the DisneyKid^® couldn’t act, or even that Elizabeth McGovern was arrested by the Overacting Police directly after the movie was finished filming - it was the little kids who were in the audience.

They laughed uproariously, but not at the dialogue. They laughed whenever something violent happened to an animal. Dog smashes into a tree? Hilarious. Cat mashed against a window? Hysterical. Cat advises all people to kick their dogs? Too funny for words.

I would be terrified for this country’s future, if it weren’t for the amazing proliferation of fabulous teenage boys in this town, who go out of their way to say hello, help us carry our packages, wave at Paul (huge thrills - “Mama, he WAVED to me!”) and just generally act as if they’re from Switzerland and not mid-America at all.

Blue Footprints

Submitted entry: No, I don’t really know why I’m up at 7:00 in the morning after being up until nearly midnight. I woke up pretty much wide awake though and so here I am, the only one awake waiting for my coffee to brew, listening to some music and writing this entry. Of course the drawback of writing before I have my coffee is that everything I’ve thought of over the past several days to write has left my brain in favor of a quiet caffeineless drone.

I’ve been having a fun time lately setting up activities for Paul and his friends when they come over. Something seems to have lifted and I am no longer reluctant to get a bunch of stuff out and get ourselves all messy. It helps to be able to do it at the table (which we got just before we left for Michigan), or better yet, outside. At one point last week, a painting project outside seemed to be going downhill. Paul didn’t seem to want to keep himself from being painted and so I made a decision then to just let what would happen happen and changed it into a painting footprints project. So the kids all walked on the painting and then on our patio. Not only was it tremendous fun (I did it too), we now have some slowly fading magenta, white and blue footprints that make me think of happy children every time I look at them. Cleanup was a breeze. We had a clean old litterbox which we filled with water and was used as a footbath. Paul, however, needed more than that so I got him into the wading pool and washed him all off and emptied the pool.

So a couple of days ago (Friday, was it?) I woke up both motivated to go to Springfield and at the same time reluctant on a sort of primal level to go. I didn’t listen to my reluctance and so Paul and I headed out and had a blast at the library stocking up on kids books, a few new CDs and three books full of learning activities to do with kids. Then we stopped at a Vietnamese grocery and got a few things - I was captivated by the teas and came back with several kinds as well as a new single-cup stainless steel coffee maker. Oh wait, I have to put some more water in it speaking of that…

Okay, it’s taken care of. Anyway, we headed home and about 12 miles from home I smelled antifreeze and the car started sounding funny. In a few minutes the temperature light came on and we were stranded on the side of the road with an overheated car. It wasn’t long before a woman came to help and in about 45 minutes I’d managed to get in touch with Sage and my mechanic who sent a tow truck. Paul, of course, was thrilled to ride in the big flatbed truck they sent. Amazingly enough, it only turned out to be a blown heater hose and so the tow cost more than the labor itself. It’s still acting a little weird, though - it tried to overheat driving back from the fair a couple of days ago.

We went to the fair on Saturday night. Paul’s first and our first fair here. Wait, I think it was the first one Sage and I ever went to together - we’ve been to amusement parks but never a fair. Anyway, Paul had a ball. We only rode on a couple rides, but he loved them. We were meant to meet some people and a friend of his near the demolition derby but we couldn’t find them. Paul, interestingly enough, didn’t want to watch the demolition derby or even the bucket loaders pushing the mud around there. Must have been something about the atmosphere or something there. He was, however, captivated by the fiddling and dancing at the stage a few hundred feet away so we sat there and watched that. I enjoyed looking at the vegetables, preserves and crafts but Paul wasn’t into it that much so we only spent a few minutes there.

Anyway - I have to figure out what my “lesson plan” will be for today. I’m thinking that we’ll probably make play dough but I’m not sure what beyond that will do and so I’ll take advantage of Paul’s being asleep to figure the rest of that out and start on this cup of coffee.

The Power of YO

Before we went to Michigan we had a booth at the Poke Salat celebration in town. I was in the process of getting a terrible sunburn, and eating too much homemade ice cream (sugar makes me crabby) and when I saw this kid looking eerily like Kiefer Sutherland playing Ace Merrill in Stand By Me holding on to this young girl’s arm and not letting go, I got REALLY PISSED. He was about 17, and she was maybe 8 (okay, 14) and she was trying hard to get him to let go while her idiot friend stood by giggling nervously.

Picture me, 5′1″, silly flowered shorts-and-shirt outfit on, face bright red with sunburn. He was 6′.

Just as I do when Paul is doing something he needs to stop right now, I clapped my hands to get Ace’s attention and shouted,

YO!

All the kids froze. “She wants you to let go of her arm, let go!”

Ace was so startled that he did let her arm go.

Idiot friend sneered at me, “She likes it! They’re playing a game!”

Little girl ran off.

And the moral of the story is, sometimes it does work to treat an intimidating 17 year old boy like a 2 year old…

Sometimes it’s not a good thing when taking an extremely hot bath comforts you even more than eating pesto. Especially when you’ve just gotten the worst sunburn of your life. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I think I gave myself heatstroke and Todd says I was truly a scary-monster burgandy color for hours and hours after the bath. Not good.

For ten years now, Todd and I have lived a life covered with cat hair. We didn’t even see it anymore. Years ago before returning an RV we’d rented we cleaned it extensively. We thought it was perfect. The RV people charged us an extra $80 for the two days they spent getting all the cat hair out.

After having no cat hair in Michigan, and liking it, I’ve gotten vigilant about getting Shelly off my office desk. She is horrified anew every time. We need to go into Kitty Therapy.

Shelly I feel so betrayed! So hurt!

Sage If you didn’t shed hair all over my scanner -

Shelly How could you do this to me! Woe, woe, woe…

Therapist Shelly, Sage is telling you that she needs boundaries.

Sage Right, and for you not to lie on my power cord and unplug my computer -

Therapist Maybe we can come up with a solution everyone can agree with.

Sage Yeah, you stay off my desk, and I won’t sit in your litter box.

Shelly What if I crept on your desk while you weren’t looking and hid behind the window blinds, pretending that I’m lying on the windowsill, but actually with half my body on your desk? How about that?

Sage I can work with that.

A cacaphony of birds.

Submitted entry: It was a weird day today - not weird bad but weird good, I’d say. Last night Paul went to sleep at about 6:30 and after dinner, Sage and I played a few video games before Sage tried to go to sleep. I say “tried” because during our video game extravaganza, Sage ate not one, not two, but three candy bars and was pretty wired. I, meanwhile laid down and read some before going to sleep. In order to help Sage go to sleep I took her book, which is also my book that Sage appropriated when she didn’t like her book as much as she’d hoped and started reading in the hopes that Sage, without a book would go to sleep at a reasonable hour instead of staying up all night and being a crabbyhorrid in the morning.

It seemed to work. I went to sleep at about Midnight (amazing what vitamins will do for a person and slept wonderfully until I woke up wide awake at about 4:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep my own self. Meanwhile, in about 5 minutes, Paul woke up and appeared to not just want a drink but was planning on being up for a long haul. What good timing on his part - when I couldn’t sleep anyway.

Now let me interject here and tell you that usually when Paul wakes up in the night, wakes up too early, or stays up too late for that matter, Sage and I are at our worst as parents - we’re crabby to each other, we’re crabby to him and just generally have an unpleasant time. I know, it’s a far cry from the way we used to be when he was first born, reading books to one another while Paul nursed back to sleep or waited to poop and I’m not sure when or how that changed but there you go.

But this morning I really felt good and like I could make this be a good time for us all. The first thing I did was tell Sage that I was happy to stay up alone with him as I was doing really great. Sage said she probably couldn’t sleep but she’d try anyway. Good thing, too, because I guess it was about four minutes before she was sleeping soundly. Meanwhile, Paul and I had a good time. We read some, then Paul was hungry and so was I for that matter so we went to raid the kitchen. There wasn’t much that a person with four and a half hours of sleep felt up to making so it was fortunate that what Paul wanted was toast. So we made several slices of toast and ate them while we read. After our first slice I noticed that it was getting light outside and it was probably as cool as it was going to get so I suggested a walk. Good idea too, as it was a beautiful morning with a lovely pink sky and a cacophony of birds. We didn’t go far, but went far enough to see an old couple out having their morning fitness walk. They remarked that we were out early this morning - that’s something that I like about living in town that so many people wouldn’t like and that is the way that seemingly perfect strangers know bits of everyone’s business - how one’s car is running, when you wake up, where you work. And I’m not innocent either - I knew full well that they too were fairly early for their walk and that I’d seen them on many occasions and they seemed like a very sweet old couple. We turned back after about ten minutes and sat out on the patio for a couple minutes with the cats just cuddling them and watching the day come. Then Paul wanted to go in. We found our way to the playroom and that’s where it gets a little fuzzy. I made the mistake of sitting in a chair after putting one of my mix CDs on (yes, I broke down and made a few now). While Paul played in the filing cabinet box (still a hit after several days) and looked at books I figured I could just close my eyes for a minute - to rest them, after all. The rest of the morning went something like this:

Eyes open, song by Ranking Roger (of English Beat fame) is playing. Paul is playing in a box and Todd closes eyes. Paul makes little box-burrowing noises. While Todd in a semi-dreamlike state imagines travelling by raft up the St. Lawrence river to Lake Champlain.

Eyes open - Paul still playing in box - oh good, Todd thinks, I can close my eyes again. Todd tries unsuccessfully to return to his raft and instead winds up in a car on an interstate in Vermont.

Todd starts awake - must have fallen asleep at the wheel - “Where’s Paul?” he wonders, looks around and turns to look at the chair next to him (Okay, picture two chairs not unlike the Edith Bunker’s chair in All in the Family placed similarly next to one another with a box to look at in the center of the room instead of a television (camera). There’s Paul popping bubble-wrap and grinning at Todd who he appeared to be watching while he slept. (This story is a new favorite with Paul). “Oh good!” Todd thinks, I can close my eyes again - he’s doing fine.

Todd wakes from an even deeper sleep than before and turns to look at Paul who is still in the chair but has now curled up and has gone to sleep. Todd gets up and moves to a couch and falls asleep. It’s now about 7:30

Sage wakes up and wanders out to the living room (different than the playroom) and finds Todd sleeping on the couch and asks if “The granny-bird came and got Paul.” Todd says “No, he’s asleep in the playroom.” and thinks to himself “Granny bird?” Paul wakes up shortly thereafter and Sage sends Todd to the bedroom and hangs out with Paul while Todd sleeps until 9:00.

The day with Paul went spectacularly. I really think that things have finally come back to normal between us since our time in the Michigan. I don’t know if I mentioned this while i was there but I was seriously on Paul’s s— list while I was there. There were times he wouldn’t talk to me when I first got home, or would get angry and cry when I did. He was seriously upset and weirded out by the arrangement. Anyway, things are better than before and I’m having more fun than ever playing with him these days. Today we played boats - each of us had a box that we pretended was a boat and he directed the play - where we were going, who we were seeing (”Uncle Bed and Uncle Square” are big imaginary friends now along with Grandma (not Kitey)) We also had tons of music and dancing and giggling. Then we made bread together. After looking in a “Childcraft Book of Knowlege” about plants and seeing a yeast experiment that we did yesterday he was interested in yeasts. Yesterday we did the experiment - we took a small jar and put 1/4 cup of warm water, 2 tsp (1 pkg) of yeast, and 2 TBSP of sugar and let it sit. The result was that the yeast “woke up” and made a bunch of foam. He wanted to see it again and was disappointed when I wouldn’t do it again because I only had one more package of yeast that I wanted to use for food. So today we did another yeast experiment - making bread. Also a big hit. And while it baked we made a triple-batch of pancakes. Apparently, today’s been a big cooking day with him because while he and Sage were hanging out he made his own scrambled eggs - Sage just cracked them and he mixed them and cooked them. Very cool.

His new interest has been starting a garden. He was very disappointed when I, in my misinformed state, said that it was too late to do anything until later this year when we could plant garlic and flower bulbs. Thankfully Kitey gave me some ideas (spinach, kale, maybe lettuce) and so I’m gearing up for that when the heat wave breaks. Anyone have any other ideas? Oh, and she brought by a “garden” for him today - some plants he can work with. She went to the creek and got some watercress - roots and all and we placed them in water. He can water them and change their water frequently and in the meantime we have lovely edible houseplants!

Oh, and I’ve got a sort of dillemma. I got an email today that there’s another job I can do - same money but no travel this time - I can do it all from home and can start soon. Well, not quite the same money as I got a great deal of money for “living expenses” that I won’t get in this case, of course. On the one hand I’d like to take the time off still, and on the other I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. A few months of this and we could buy a house outright and then no more rent payments. Sage and I are torn, of course. Even if we didn’t buy a house, we could build up a bit more money to last a few more months (about 20 hours work gets over a month’s living expenses). We’re thinking possibly of accepting on the condition that I only do 20 hours/week. That could easily be fit into our current schedule - Paul and I could spend our mornings together while Sage worked then I could work for a few hours then we could spend the evening hours together with him. Anyone have any thoughts? Any suggestions? Send them to me. I appreciate it!

Paul’s now back from his walk with his granny and is probably going to be up for a few hours yet as he had a late nap. So I’ll end it here and hope that I don’t have a late night and an early morning. Or perhaps, if I don’t get that, at least let it be as pleasant as this last late night/early morning combination.

White Pizza

Submitted entry: Well, I meant to have a nap, I really did. In fact I felt like I was dead on my feet a couple hours ago while hanging out with Paul. But wouldn’t you know it? When I tried to sleep just now I couldn’t do it. Sage is off at the supermarket getting some supplies for pizza making. I’m going to be making some tonight - as we watch Paul’s reaction to various foods it appears that dairy isn’t that much of a problem when he hasn’t a cold so much as corn. So I’ll make the pizzas without the usual cornmeal on the bottom of the crust. I haven’t decided if it’ll be white pizza or not. I’m thinking so.

Had an interesting conversation with a child today who was suggesting we get a satellite dish because then we could watch all different channels. I explained that we didn’t have a TV because of the fact that it wastes lots of our time (we can turn into junkies in a matter of days) and that it is also loaded with commercial messages. She said that she didn’t listen to the commercials so I mentioned how Disney movies themselves, for instance, make the idea of going to Disney World more attractive. She said that yes, that was true. I said that Disney World was in the business of taking money away from parents and kids to which she replied that that wasn’t, in fact the case but that it was run by people who love to watch people have fun. Then came the kicker - she said that without Disney there wouldn’t be vacations. I asked several questions about different kinds of vacations that one might take and she didn’t see them as vacations - they were camping, fishing, etc. But the only real vacation could be had in Disney World. And some people wonder why we are creeped out by Disney and it’s products and by the media in general!

I think tomorrow we’re breaking down and going to the Springfield Library. I just can’t figure out any economical way to feed our love for books. Hmmm, thinks Todd, perhaps we should check into the local bus service that goes up there. Sage, if you’re reading this - remind me to check into that. That could be really fun and cheap. I think it goes up once every 2-3 weeks - just about as often as the books are due. We might also have to figure out the Springfield bus system but it’d be worth it.

Paul seems to have spontaneously grown in the night. In the past couple of days he’s really become so helpful! He helped me pick up the house one evening, has started to pick up his own messes without being asked and his vocabulary has grown in leaps and bounds.

Oh, and I almost forgot - Sage finally got her wish. She now has glasses - pretty gorgeous ones I might add. They really look natural on her too and it’s not just me saying it. Many people we meet are saying that they either think they look natural on her or even that they weren’t sure if they should mention that she had new glasses because they weren’t sure she didn’t always have them.

Interestingly enough I think my beard has reached a socially acceptable point. How do I know? Because people are mentioning that I have a new look. I’m guessing they didn’t mention it last week because then it might be some faux pas of them mentioning it and me just not shaving. Personal hygiene can be a touchy issue with some people, after all.

Pesto

Sage The only thing I can stand to cook is pesto. I made a huge batch last week and Todd made me pesto pizza.

Woman Mmmm.

Sensitive Guy Sounds yummy.

Sage It was delicious. It must be true love. Todd doesn’t even like pesto.

…Long silence…

Woman I think there’s something terribly wrong with him.

Sensitive guy Okay, but does he like quiche?

Excessive Heat Warning

Submitted entry: Paul is asleep - I think he must have worn himself out. He had a friend over today and the two of them played in his playroom for several hours before she went home for lunch and Paul had lunch then nursed to sleep. It was such a trip, though. The two of them played so well together (she’s about twice his age so that probably helped some) that I wasn’t needed and instead helped Sage rearrange her office keeping an ear open for the conflicts and mischief that never came. Interestingly enough, I felt guilty despite all that. Here was Paul and his friend having a great time in the box-houses we all made together (Sage got two new filing cabinets and the boxes made great houses that we decorated together) and Sage and I were working and chatting together. But it didn’t matter - there was a discernable feeling that I had to get in there and facilitate the play and that not doing so was a bad idea. I was glad I stayed out of it, though, as they were having such a great time and he really needs time on his own with kids untainted by adult conversation just as much as we need adult conversation untainted by the presence of children. It was actually really beautiful to watch from a distance.

Yesterday despite the “Excessive Heat Warning” we all piled into our car at 7:30 in the morning with a box of pesto pizza and a jug of water and headed for the Springfield library. We took a different way there, avoiding the four lane divided highway and got there quicker and cooler with all the shade from the trees helping us out. What a good thing it was to go there too - we checked out 70 items - books, cds, books on tape and even a few toys for Paul. It felt like everything good about shopping with none of the guilt. We got lots of new stuff to look at and enjoy and didn’t spend a dime (well, we had to pay $35 to renew our annual membership and Sage had about $4 in fines but that isn’t always the case). I got a couple novels, a “Dummies” book about Debian Linux that I got for the CDs in it which turned out to be horribly scratched, a couple of books by Trungpa Rinpoche and several cookbooks as well as a pile of CDs of which so far my favorites are Buckshot Lefonque and The Smiths.

And speaking of the Smiths - it was really odd. This morning I was listening to it outside while watching the kids and there was just something so weird about hearing the music of my angst ridden late teens played while I was almost the age of my parents when I was listening to the music. So it was something like this:

The rain falls down on a humdrum town
Hey Paul! Wanna look for roly-polies?
This town has dragged you down
Daddy! Look at me!

It just is hard to get into the ennui when you’re as happy just sitting and watching your son playing happily. (Of course the 20 year old me would just remind me that someday he’ll be 15 and he too will think that Depeche Mode’s Blasphemous Rumours is the deepest and most apropos song for his life that he’d ever heard.

Despite all that it’s reminding me that I should try to track down Morrissey’s Bona Drag - it was an album that spent most of 1990 in my CD player with a cassette copy in my car. By all rights I shouldn’t like this music - he’s not particularly talented and I’m not fond of the lyrics but all the same I enjoy it.

Of course the other project I’m trying to take on is actually finding new music. For someone as prone to nostalgia as I am, it’s really easy for me to just spend my time listening to and trying to find copies of my CD collection circa 1991 but at the same time I love the feeling of finding a new musician that I like and it’s been a long time since I’ve done that. I think the last find I had was You Were Spiraling and I’m getting sick of the albums I have of theirs - their second album pretty much lived in the rented car’s CD player when we were in Michigan. Does anyone have any suggestions? Woj? Emily? Anyone?

Paul just woke up and I’m going to end it here though he is lying back down with Sage. Why? Because I don’t want Sage to get too swamped writing her column. Sage is pretty busy - maybe someone would like to be a guest contributer?

King Friday

The Mr. Rogers website has the following description of King Friday:
“King Friday XIII rules the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. He demands - and often gets - respect from everyone, but underneath his stern and sometimes unreasonable exterior is a caring person who wants the best for his family and his kingdom.”

Sometimes unreasonable? Is it me, or didn’t King Friday used to be sort of a whack-job with a bunch of idiotic ideas, while Queen Saturday rolled her eyes and said “Ye-us deah,” in her Southern drawl?

I went to an auction yesterday and had an absolute ball. I mean, actually what happened was I was 14 hours away from getting my period and Todd asked me to please go find something to do that didn’t involve being in the house as I was snarling at not only Todd, but kittens and puppies and rainbows, and luckily it was too late to see the town’s one movie, as I found out later it was about car racing, which puts it one step below Dumb and Dumber in my movie rating system. Where was I?

Oh, so I went to the auction instead and watched all kinds of bizarre objects being sold - way weirder than eBay - and someone who bought a “Personal Check Writer” (a machine that types your checks for you) for $1 just to find out what it was, as she couldn’t see it very well from her seat.

No Special Treatment

Not only did I take my vitamins today but I made a really great nutritious dinner and the result is I feel pretty energetic when normally I would be asleep by now. I will, however make it pretty short just so that I get to bed on time. Sage told me as she just went to bed “No special treatment, no whining.” In other words if Paul wakes up at 6:00, so do I.

Another wonderful day today despite another really brutally hot day - nearly 100 with heat indices in the 105-110 degree range. But we’re so much better at dealing with it here than we ever were at the yurt. Today when I was outside with Paul and a couple of other kids from the neighborhood we all just got in a huge water fight and all wound up quite soaked and much cooled. Not only that, it was still quite cool inside the house. Once again we didn’t need the air conditioning until the late afternoon though it’s still on now as it’s still stuffy and muggy outside.

Fun kid stuff we did today:

• Painted colorful abstract designs using fabric paints on white t-shirts. Note to self: don’t try to use the fabric pens next time or the kids just squirt it all out at once - next time squirt some on some fabric and use brushes
• More cardboard box play - so far those two cardboard boxes for the filing cabinets have provided two children with easily 8-10 hours of entertainment if not more with all sorts of creative made up games and crafts.
• We had dinner together - not just eating dinner together as usual but like real adults with not just a one-dish meal. We had Macaroni and Nutritional Yeast “cheese” served with broccoli and salad. After all that we cleaned the dishes right away. I know it doesn’t sound like anything spectacular but for us it was really quite a leap from eating dinner together on the yurt floor - or the house floor or couch for that matter.
• While Sage went to the auction, Paul and I worked together to make an extra large batch of pancakes. They’re still a hit in the morning and after an experiment I found out that they freeze well and heat well in the toaster. Move over Eggo.

Is anyone else familiar with “Liar” by the Rollins Band? It was popular about 5 years ago (maybe more now). Sage and I just rediscovered it this evening and once again laughed ourselves sick listening to it. I’ll never do it justice just writing about it here but Henry Rollins (of Black Flag fame), a pretty hardcore musician starts out with sweet music and talks as if he’s talking to us (as his girlfriend) and tells about how she thought she never was going to meet anyone then met this really perfect wonderful guy that said all the right things. And then he makes a brilliant transition - he says something like “And you never questioned why things were going so well - want to know why?” At that point the music turns loud and dark and he, in a nearly screaming voice says “Because I’m a liar”. Anyway, as I figured I am not doing it justice in the least but it’s an absolutely brilliant song that illustrates how so many women are taken in by creepy men. In the middle of the song it goes back to the original sweet music and voice and Rollins says something like “I’m sorry - I’ll never lie to you again” and sings a sweet song of I’ll-never-lie-to-you-ness but you know something’s coming because the music is getting a little more wild and loud and then it happens. Rollins screams “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! SUCKER!” which sends Sage and I into hysterics every time. Neither of us really get how people can keep going back to the same creepy guys over and over again.

Oh gad - it’s 11:10 and I should get to bed soon. Tomorrow we’re off to the farmer’s market and then spending the afternoon in the town pool I think.

I guess I’ll end it here with a cosmic…

Little Gonkie McWortle and Paul are playing happily when Paul is moved to spontaneously doff his trousers and proceeds to gleefully run through the room in the nude.

“Eek! Eek!” Says Gonkie “You have no shorts - I mustn’t look. Todd - can you fix it?”

Todd proceeds to chase Paul around cheered on by Granny and Gonkie.

Granny encourages Paul to put his clothes on by suggesting an outfit change.

“Yeah really!” says Gonkie “Those flowered shorts are for girls”

Todd rolls his eyes and prays for Paul’s strength in the face of gender stereotyping…

I am such a sap.

Now that I have glasses, a just-cut crewcut, and have been wearing dresses (gasp!) to keep cool in the summer, I thought it’d be fun to dye my hair too. I followed the directions, mixed the dye and the applicator stuff, and squirted it on my hair. After about five minutes I realized that I was going to end up with the same hair and a dyed scalp that looked like a terrible rash. I washed it all out in time, though.

I told Kitey this story and she looked at my 1/2″ long hair and rolled her eyes and said, “Sage, all you would have HAD were roots.”

Years ago I wrote in Coffee Shakes about being nasty to a parent who was hitting her child while screaming at her to “stop crying”. A reader wrote and advised me to take the same energy and direct it at complimenting parents who are doing a good job, which I’ve been doing ever since.

At the Kalamazoo library, I saw a little boy’s father and immediately felt dread - he was 6′3″, tattooed all over, with a stoic look on his face. (Stereotyping. I know.) The little boy was frightened by another child, and started to cry. This huge guy picked him up so tenderly and said, “Oh, sweetheart, were your feelings hurt? I bet that felt bad,” and snuggled him all over.

I went over and said in a quavering voice, “I just…wanted to tell you - how - how touching it is to see you be so sweet to your kid,” and then had to run and cry in the bathroom for ten minutes. I know. I’m such a sap.