No Pins Needed

I had an appointment with an acupuncturist and talked about how I’d been obsessing about being a crummy mother, blah blah blah guilt, blah blah blah, consumed with worry.

She treated me, and then within an hour two people, known for their tendancy to understatement and rare compliments, independently gave me lavish compliments on my parenting skills.

What service!

Valcony

Paul Let’s go on the valcony!
Sage Oh, well, it’s actually a balcony. With a B.
Paul NO! With a V! It’s a VALCONY.
Sage Tell you what, we’ll ask Granny.
Paul What does valcony start with?
Granny V.
Paul SEE?
Sage *shooting Granny an exasperated look*
Granny Or, if you’re talking about that thing over there, it’s called a balcony. With a B.
Paul NO IT ISN’T!
Granny Let’s look it up in the dictionary on the computer.
Sage reads [Dictionary.com] Valcony not found. Similar words: Balcony. A platform that projects from the wall of a building and is surrounded by a railing, balustrade, or parapet
Paul Ohhh. Okay. Balcony, then.

And what I find hilarious about this whole episode is that we could have been looking at Australian soybean futures, pretending it was dictionary.com, and he would have no idea.

When you’re brought up by techno-geeks I guess it should be no surprise that the computer has more authority than your parents.

Chaos Demon

Paul and I both love to play with this wooden doll furniture set.

[view image] My version, Yes, I Am A Libra Obsessed With Well-Ordered Design, is on the left, while Paul’s Help! They’re having an earthquake and watch out for the volcano lava! version is on the right.

The Secret Life of Tyrtles

The sky is so absurdly beautiful here. I half expect to hear Richard Attenborough narrating my life: “The heroine gazed out the window, seeing the sky bright with promise…”

Irony Is Lost on 4 Year Olds

Sage Sweetheart, of course you can put on your socks. It just takes practice. No one is born knowing how to put on their socks.

Paul See? I made a sign! It says, “I CAN’T DO IT.”

Sage Paul! This is so wonderful! You made the letters I and C and D and A! That’s amazing!

Paul I can’t do anything. I’ll never learn to put on my socks, ever, never, EVER.

And in the second month…

And lo, the people did moveth from the souless depths of commuterville Rio Rancho into the center of Albuquerque, and dideth receive bus service and happy, friendly people all around them and they said, “It is good.”

What I want to know, is…

How many of the children who excel in public school have above average memories?

Sleep Typing

There’s a person guest star on Barney today and I caught myself thinking, “How odd, they never have actual people on this show,” which just goes to prove that those children are so horrific I can’t even think of them as human beings.

And why is Barney on right now? Because Mr. Perky 4 Year Old woke me up at 3:30 AM and I am too tired to turn it off.

Whee, lookit ma, I can type in my sleep.

New frontiers in toyland.

Todd It’s Beanie Baby Bears. [holds up a bear with stitches on its face and leg]

Sage Ooo. Family Services Bear.

The Eighth Sign of the Apocalypse

After watching a National Geographic Natural Disasters video I realized what Los Angeles reminds me of - the house in Amityville Horror. The earth is like,

GET OUUUUUUUUT

and the L.A. residents are just wandering around, going, “Tra, la laaaaaa, let’s rebuild…again…”