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We know you’re in there!

Sage and Todd are playing online backgammon and listening to a Dean Martin song.

Todd Oh my god - I think Dean Martin is my Dad.
Todd looks like him
Todd drinks like him

Sage No, don’t worry. Your dad would NEVER have sex with Jerry Lewis.

Todd No - but he did with my mom, and she was just about as wacky.

Sage Ew. EW. Get that image out of my head! NOW!

I know y’all are tired of hearing about how much I love this Ozarks town. But really, yesterday I called the electric company - a place I’ve been in approximately twice - and the clerk knew who I was and where I lived as soon as I’d said, “Hi there.”

Compare this to the Audiobook Store Lady in the southwest, who called me Alicia every single time I entered her shop, no matter how many times I explained that my name was Sage.

Todd and Sage are playing online backgammon. Todd is famous for ordering pizza, then jumping at every single tiny noise, certain that it’s the Pizza Man, even if he only just hung up the phone. On Halloween, he’s even worse.

Todd, on Halloween I’ll work late and avoid the trick-r-treaters.

Sage Oh good lord. Just don’t turn on your porch light or you’ll have pizzaparanoia.

Todd I got pizza two nights ago, though and the knock on the door just about made me jump out of my skin. I thought it was the secret police trying to prevent me from immigrating.

No one here understands why we think a store called MFA is funny.

Kalaleq’s Camel