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For my next trick, I’ll use a phone with a cord attached to it.

We don’t own a microwave, so when Paul and his friend asked for popcorn I hauled out the air popper. “What’s that?” asked the friend. I explained. “Oooo,” she said, as if I’d just wound up a Victrola and begun to dance the jitterbug. “That’s neat.”

Paul and I were talking to Todd via voice chat and the webcam. I realized that I could maximize the webcam window, which led to bigger-than-lifesize close ups.

Wanting nothing to do with Todd’s Max Headroom impression, the King of Anatomy instructed Todd to put his ear as close as possible so that we could see inside it. I think I need to get that kid an otoscope.

Though I have only seen one episode of “The Bachelor”, I’m an avid follower of the Television Without Pity recaps. Because the recapper, djb, is not only funny but also tends to tie moments in the show in with lyrics from Broadway musicals, and has thus made me his eternal love slave.

I mean, and therefore I haven’t missed a recap since he took them over.

After reading two seasons worth, I noticed that the names of the participants tended to be taken from the same pool and decided to find out if I was right. Out of 103 women (three seasons worth of The Bachelor and one season of Joe Millionaire) I counted:

• 2 - Amanda
• 2 - Amber
• 2 - Mary
• 2 - Brooke
• 2 - Dana
• 2 - Heather
• 3 - Jen (if it were 1987, this number would be more like sixty four)
• 3 - Angela
• 3 - Shannon
• 4 - Amy
• 4 - Melissa
• 4 - Catherine/Katherine

But if you’re dying to be cast in reality tv’s version of a really, really bad Harlequin romance, then run do not walk to the nearest city hall and legally change your name to Christine. Eleven contestants. Christi, two Christinas, Christy, Cristina, two Kirstens, Kristina, three Tinas. Even the current season of Joe Millionaire has a contestant named Kristyna. From the Czech Republic.

Kalaleq’s Camel

Quote: Church of the Universe