Entries

Routine

Submitted entry: Out with the new technology and back in with the old. Or at least oldertechnology than I was trying before. I tried once to write anentry on the palm but while it was very portable it took forever to get myideas down. So now I’m sitting on a subway at Sheppard waiting for it tostart towards home. On my lap is my Alphasmart. Yes, indeed, it is thesame one that provided me with an outlet for all of these entries back inthe yurt years. The same traits that made it a useful tool at the yurtare those that make it useful here on the subway. It is lighter than anylaptop with a seemingly infinite battery life.

Living here in the city is teaching me rather a lot about myself. Firstoff, for years I’ve asserted that I am spontaneous and averse to all formsof routine. I thought that was the case until I noticed that I do indeedsettle into quite comfortable routines if given the opportunity. This isparticularly true for morning routines (and here I thought I was anightowl). In New Mexico it was a daily breakfast burrito with red chilefrom the same deli (which explains the 10 lbs I gained since movingthere). Here it has become the two samosas and a coffee $3.00 special atthe coffee shop at the subway station.

(Break to switch from subway to bus…)

The break went from my intended five minutes to almost twelve hours as thebus was so full that I had no room to type and was lucky to get a seat.So it is now 12 hours later and I am on the first of two buses that I taketo work.

Anyway, routines… As I was saying, I am finding that I appreciatemorning routines. In particular I appreciate the small interpersonalexchanges that come with morning routines in the city. I like seeing thesame bus driver every morning - the one that asks if I caught my bus okayon her day off. Or the people behind the counter at the donut shop whoknow just how I like my coffee and ask why I was not there the day beforewhen I was so late in catching my first bus that I didn’t have time to gopick up coffee and breakfast in between that and the second one.

I think what it comes down to is the fact that I actually am not as muchof an introvert as I may seem. Not even as much of one as theMyers-Briggs test may say which is just about as introverted as I can get.It is just that I am not very good at initiating and sometimes in keepingconversations going. This is particularly true here in Toronto wherewhile the people are very friendly aren’t always encouraging of strangersjust up and talking to them apropos of nothing. (And what would one sayanyway!) In that sense cities - or large groups of strangers anyway, havethe feeling of one huge junior high dance. Lots of people talking to eachother and me without an opening line or prepared for the reaction to it.So I just go over to the concession stand and am glad to hear it whensomeone asks if I want a slice of lemon in my coke but would franklyprefer it if they asked why I was smiling that day.

Despite my complaints, I haven’t been very encouraging of social contactin the city myself. In fact, a couple of weeks ago I picked up an MP3 CDplayer. I can’t help it, though. I missed my music. Every day on theway to work I would listen to the CD of the month (or day or hour) thatwould provide a soundtrack for my life that I could forever - that I couldput in the CD player and instantly and completely transport myself back tothe first time & place where I had heard it. Another fun side-effect ofusing a CD player in the city is that the world around you turns into afabulous music video. People’s expressions take on new significance, andeverything that was formerly happening in an apparently random fashionappears to be well choreographed.

So now I have the mp3 player and for the most part I like it. Between itand a book I find that I effectively create my own space. Unfortunatelythis space is so effectively created that twice now I have found myselfsitting in an empty bus as all of the other passengers have moved to a busthat had been sent to replace the one I was on.

I am noticing a very odd phenomenon since moving here. All of a sudden Ifeel like I have next to zero free time. This is particularly odd since Idon’t really see myself as having any more or less free time than usual.At the yurt my recollection is that I was quite often either cooking,hanging out with Paul, gathering wood, carrying water or some other chore.In town I quite often was working on either validation work or web designwork or hanging out with Paul. In Albuquerque I was quite often leavingfor work around 7:30-7:45 and arriving home anywhere between 7-8 andsometimes as late as 3:00 AM. Here, though, I leave the house at 7:00 andam always home between 5:30-6:30 pm. Essentially that’s the same scheduleas in Albuquerque.

Which is a good part of the reason that I am not taking on a bunch of thethings I keep meaning to do. My to-do list isn’t terribly long but itstill is hugely overwhelming. Things I feel I need to get around todoing:

• Resume daily meditation practice with regular visits to sangha forgroup meditation.
• Begin a yoga class or workout routine.
• Get into more frequent and thorough cleaning routine.
• Make a weekly meal-plan and stick to it.

It doesn’t look nearly as overwhelming written out like that but stilllately I am finding that the days are passing by so quickly I can’timagine how I would fit it all in.

One thing I did manage to start a routine of was playing with Paul in theevening. Embarassingly enough I was doing pretty poorly in this sensesince we got here. Mostly this was because of too much time spent on thecomputer - a bad habit that got worse while I was all by myself inAlbuquerque. So the solution was elegantly simple - just don’t use thecomputer while Paul is awake on weeknights. So far this has been a hugesuccess and I think I’m benefiting as much from it as he is.

I’m hoping that the other items on my list are as easy to implement.