That’s, like, totally neat.

Sage is talking to a Canadian blind person on the bus.

Person And are you Canadian?

Sage I’m from -

Person Oh, wait. Let me guess. California?

Sage You’re…right. How did you do that?

Person I’m going to guess a little south of San Francisco. San Jose area, maybe?

Sage Oh. My. God. Yes! You’re absolutely right. That’s amazing. I guess I didn’t get rid of my Valley Girlish accent as thoroughly as I thought I had.

Person, chuckling No, no, it’s not that. It’s a little lilt to certain vowels. It’s hard to describe.

Cellphone conversation overheard

It’s not so much that she’s jealous as just really…perceptive.

After an acquaintance said, in the nicest way possible, “I wouldn’t know how short you are if you didn’t talk about it all the time,” I’ve been doing my best to avoid the subject. But I must mention that even I was surprised to find myself standing in a group of children nine and under - in my combat boots with heels - and just barely clear an inch over the tallest kid. Friends standing far away couldn’t even tell which one was me.

Sage, Todd and Paul are walking together. Sage sees a group of teenage boys in a car, screeching at 70 kph through a basketball court, where little kids are playing. They stop the car. Sage sprints over to it, shaking with fury.

Sage WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?! THERE ARE LITTLE KIDS PLAYING HERE!

Boy 1 What?

Boy 2 Oh. Oh no. We’re very sorry, ma’am.

Boy 1 Excuse me, do you know who was driving the CAR?

Sage I DON’T CARE WHO WAS DRIVING! YOU WERE ALL IN THE DAMN CAR! YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING TO THE DRIVER!

Boy 2 My goodness. You’re absolutely right, we really messed up.

Driver What is all this screaming about? What are you upset by?

Sage YOU CAN’T DRIVE EIGHTY MILES AN HOUR IN THIS GODDAMN BASKETBALL COURT! SOME KID COULD HAVE GOTTEN HIT! JESUS CHRIST!

Boy 2, loudly, to the driver We’re very sorry.

Driver I can drive as fast as I -

Several boys standing around We’re sorry. Gosh, that was wrong. They should have gone slower.

Driver - as I want to!

Sage, losing it completely I WILL FUCKING CALL THE FUCKING COPS! RIGHT NOW!

All the boys except the driver It was very unfortunate. We screwed up. We’re very sorry. Very sorry. We won’t ever do that again. Go slow in the basketball court. Of course, of course. We apologize.

Sage, mollified Well. All right. Don’t do that again.

As I walked away I could hear them mimicking me in Hindi and laughing. But damn, those were some sincerely produced sorries.

Although I’d read that hamsters are excellent escape artists, Sue seemed extremely happy to trundle around in her cage, eating her fresh veggies and napping all day. So it was a shock yesterday morning to find that the new tunnel set-up we’d come up with after working together as a family to clean her cage was precarious enough to break apart with just her tiny hamster weight leaning on it.

Apprently, she escaped her cage and then made directly for the door - that was closed for just such a contingency - scooted underneath and right into Harriet the cat’s waiting arms. Harriet, as you may imagine, was the victor of that little encounter.

I feel stupid for not realizing that the tunnel was badly balanced, and doubly stupid for not blocking up the space between the door and the floor. Sue was just a baby, really, and it was my responsibility to protect her.