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I need your shoes!

Overheard at a sushi restaurant:

Kelly …I remember when I was in Prague with my mom when I was twelve, and I was wearing Nike running shoes, and people would walk by and they would totally stop, and, like, stare! And so eventually I just wore different shoes, because it was so weird, people always wanting my shoes, you know?

Mark Uh huh.

Sage thinks Wait, isn’t that the point behind brand name shoes?

Kelly Then when I was living in Japan, people would find out I was from Canada, and the only Canadian reference they knew was Anne of Green Gables, so they would always bring that up. Oh, oh, and at the library! Okay, at the library you could only check out books for two weeks. You couldn’t renew books. You could come back the next day, and check it out again, but the librarians never renewed them.

Mark Uh huh.

Kelly So this one time I’d checked out Anna Karenina and that book is, like, a thousand pages! So at the end of my two weeks I took the book to the librarian and I was like, “Please, please, just look at this book. Does it look like I could finish it in two weeks? Please make an exception,” and the librarian was all, “No, I must return it to the shelf,” but I begged and begged and finally he looked around to make sure no one was watching, and then he reluctantly said, “Okay, but don’t tell anyone,” and he checked it right back out to me.

Kite arrived Friday morning in high spirits, even though she’d just spent two days on the bus.

Thursday, she called from Chicago, where she was undergoing the second of her three 5 hour layovers and in the course of the conversation said, “I think I’m just going to hire a taxi -” and I expected her to finish with, “- and get to Toronto that way,” but she just said, “- and see the city.” She actually had FUN on her trip. We are very different people.

There wasn’t any instant coffee, so I headed to the nearest convenience store to pick some up. I’d gone there a couple of months ago in desperation, trying to find some black tea. No luck, but they did carry what I thought would be bearable ground coffee. After I brewed the coffee, I found out that it was aggressively vile, and I ended up throwing it out.

When I walked in the door, the clerk looked panicked. “You are here to buy coffee?”

I was startled by her prescience, then remembered coming in before. I smiled and nodded.

“I am so sorry,” she said, “But we are out of your favorite coffee.”

Then I really was startled by her memory. “Oh, gosh, that’s okay -”

Since Paul was born, I’ve turned into a character from ’50s television when speaking to strangers. I actually say things like, “golly” and “oh, crumbs”.

“I meant to buy some! But I just forgot.”

“No, really, that’s okay. I’m actually here to buy some for my mom. And she likes Nescafe. And look, you have it! See? So…”

“Next time you come in, I will make sure I have your coffee.”

I didn’t really know how to tell her I thought it tasted kind of like Canadian pizza, so I just thanked her and went back home.

When I arrived, Kite and Paul were busily opening all the Solstice gifts various friends had sent along.

Kite’s first Canadian border customs experience was long and tedious, filled with suspicion. She dressed up for the second, and it was easier. For the third, she was dressed up and carrying a big gift bag with a Christmas tree on the front. They waved her through with a smile.

Paula, Paul’s namesake, had - as always - relied on her secret pipeline to Paul’s secret desires and sent him many excellent gifts, including four brand new notebooks. Kite’s gift was at the bottom. Paul unwrapped a toothpick box and danced around in excitement. “Granny! Now I have Canada toothpicks AND Ozarks toothpicks!”

Kite giggled and said, “Oh, well, I’m sorry to tell you that there’s actually something else in the box. Not toothpicks.”

Paul opened the box to find a riddle and a bag to take apart and danced around a little more.

I just love that kid.