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Santa Claus is Canadian
Two teenagers overheard on the bus Christmas day:
Erica I feel so bad. My mom got me the DVD 7 Years in Tibet for Christmas.
Sam Oh, that’s a good book.
Erica She doesn’t know but two weeks ago I got really mad and smashed my DVD player. It only cost $30 at Wal-Mart and I was gonna take the gift card I got today and get a new one, but I got a video game instead. But I have $10 still on the card and some money left over, so I can get one on Tuesday before she finds out.
First of all, the most destructive thing I did at fourteen was throw a pillow across the room, and then I froze, in case my dad heard and came up to yell at me. I don’t know - are children so different today, or were all my friends destroying their VCRs, and I just didn’t know about it? Also: how stupid is she? You want to do something destructive, you don’t shoot yourself in the foot. You rip your geometry notebook to pieces, and then you tell your mum the cat did it.
What’s the most destructive thing you did at fourteen?
“Santa Claus is Canadian, a taste of Christmas in Canada” was an unsuccessful audio sideline in 1981 for the publishing company Canadian Inventions that brought you “The Electric Light Bulb is Canadian”, “Instant Mashed Potatoes Are Canadian” and “The Agrifoam Crop Cold Protector is Canadian”. Despite an eclectic song list, including the hits “Lacrosse is our official national sport, not hockey, eh?” and “Get Out the Zamboni, We’re Going Skating”, American record stores refused to carry the album, saying, “Look, we don’t care if Canada says they own some piece of drifting ice up north that Santa Claus supposedly lives on - our concern is keeping our stores filles with dazed, unhappy shoppers for the month of December, and part that is keeping Santa as American as apple pie.” As a result, the LP failed to sell even five hundred copies and, unable to recover, Canadian Inventions declared bankruptcy in 1983.
(Okay, not really. Though Canada does own the North Pole - which isn’t as exciting as it sounds, since it’s really just a giant iceberg that drifts around up there. It did give the Canadian government the opportunity to fine a pilot for littering, when his plane malfunctioned at the North Pole and he had to leave it there.)
Last week I went out to buy Paul a Solstice gift and came home empty handed and grumpy. Although Paul hadn’t asked for a gift, we’d given him one last year and felt like we should keep up the tradition. But the more I looked, the grumpier I felt. I’ve been perfectly happy not celebrating Christmas for the past sixteen years. I mean, I can get behind celebrating winter solstice because I love winter. It deserves a celebration, in my opinion.
But as I trudged through the miserable Christmas crowds I started to wonder what I was doing there. Why was I giving a gift? That’s not part of the Solstice tradition, it’s part of the Christmas tradition. When I got home I talked to Todd about how crabby I felt, and how I didn’t know what to do. He said, “Well, listen, he spends every free moment he has right now working on crafts. So what if we gave him a gift certificate to the art store, and he could just go in there and get anything he wanted?”
I thought that was a wonderful idea. I printed out a little pretend certificate since I was too lazy to go to the art store, put it in an envelope, and on Solstice morning Todd put together an entire treasure hunt, complete with coded messages and secret hiding places. When Paul woke up we gave him the first clue and he began to search for the treasure. When he found it, he opened the envelope, and read what was inside. His face fell and a tear rolled down his cheek.
I said, “It’s okay to be disappointed,” and Todd rubbed his back.
He said, “What about a certificate to the bookstore? Or the toy store?”
I initially said yes to the books, but when he went off to change his clothes Todd and I talked about it and we both felt like, well, if we change it to the bookstore - which would be easy since we’d never bought the certificate in the first place, no skin off our nose - that would give Paul the impression that if someone gives you a gift and you don’t like it, you just ask them to change it to something else. Which is a terrible precedent.
When he came back in, I said, “I know I said yes initially to the books, but I’m going to hold firm on the art store. That’s what we talked about, that’s what we thought you’d like, that’s what we gave you, and that’s what you can have.” He cried a little bit more, and then went off to play with Granny in excellent spirits.
Todd asked him later on in the day if he wanted to head to the art store. Paul said, “Nope. I get all the craft stuff I need from the recycling room.”
And he was okay with it, he was at peace with the entire thing. So really what we gave him for Solstice was the ability to get through a disappointment and come out happy on the end other end. Which is better than a box of Legos any day.
Gift shopping at this time of year (no matter if you call it Christmas shopping, Hanukkah shopping or Solistice shopping) is a misery. Prices are hiked up, crowds are ridiculous and no one really has the spirit of giving, only the feeling of the duty to give. It is sad. People feel under pressure because there is a deadline, there is competition with others giving gifts (mostly felt unconsciously) and pressure from advertisers to buy, buy, buy. It is truly sad.
My in-laws insist on giving and getting “wish lists”. I was brought up that you should be thankful that someone thought to buy you something and put the time and effort into choosing something he/she thought you would like. I hate asking for things and I don’t want my kids getting into the habit of asking for things. We still need to go through this every year at this time but for each of us I have insisted that we put down a charity that a contribution could be made to in our name. The children and I have chosen “The Children’s Wish Foundation”, “Ronald McDonald House”, “UNICEF”, etc. My in-laws, at first, weren’t happy about it as “it is not a gift under the tree” as they put it but I was adamant and now this has been an annual thing for about six or so years. The children feel good because they feel that others are being helped and there is a bit less clutter with new things coming into our home. The children now even help pick out new toys to buy for charities where presents are given to children in need. I want them to realize that they are lucky. We are far from rich, or even well to do, but we have enough to get what we need and then some. Others are not so fortunate and I want my children to realize that everyone needs to work together to make the world a nicer place. Not just through buying either,as they get older,I hope that they will volunteer their time to help others.
As for what was the most destructive thing that I did at fourteen…I can’t really remember. I never broke anything in a fit of anger or on purpose. I did my share of stupid things but it mostly hurt me, not physically, rather than others. I did shoplift once, on a dare, and got caught (thank goodness). I never did it again. It was a good lesson learned.
Children today are different than they were when I was young. Parents are rarely home to discipline (since we live in a society where double income is highly looked upon…and expected) and the teachers and principals are no longer allowed to. Children seem to be ruled by peer pressure alone and that is not right. Children are young, inexperienced and impressionable. They need guidance and don’t seem to get it. I don’t believe it should be the school’s responsibiliy but if no one else is there to guide then they need to be able to enforce some boundaries.
Just my two cents worth. May 2006 be a better year.
What Kathy said, pretty much. :)