Podcast: Flag Waving

In this podcast, find out if you could be a Canadian citizen.

Also of note: This week’s question is: What’s the first thing that made you smile today? Please call 206-666-3043 or, in the UK, 0844 484 3271 (.05 a minute) with the answer. You may include your non-commercial URL.

Every Quirky Nomads podcast can be found in the Podcast Archives.

Listen: MP3 format
Time: 8.19

Flag Waving

In order to qualify for Canadian citizenship, we need to have lived in Canada for three years and become landed immigrants. In order to become landed immigrants, we need to pay the Canadian government a little over three thousand dollars. Since we don’t exactly have three thousand dollars hiding under a mattress, we’ve been putting off the application, which among other things will allow the Citizenship and Immigration Canada officer to make sure we are all of good character. (CIC officer: “Have you ever been in trouble with the law, sir?” Paul: “One time I accidentally forgot to put in my ticket and I rode the bus for free.”)

When we do qualify for Canadian citizenship, we’ll need to officially apply. Everyone tells us that the key to applying is to make sure that the application is neatly filled out, with every question answered, using the appropriate grammar and correct spelling. (No, seriously.)

Then Todd and I will have to take a citizenship test. Could you be a Canadian citizen? Take this sample test to find out.

What important trade did the Hudson Bay Company control?

a. Oil.
b. Fur.
c. Gold lame boots.

Which was the last province to join Canada?

a. British Columbia.
b. Saskatchewan.
c. Washington State.

List three ways in which you can protect the environment.

a. Work near where you live, drive to work, take a taxi.
b. Compost and recycle, conserve energy and water, walk or join a car pool.
c. Pour solvents down storm drains, leave taps running, leave lights on.

What does the Canadian flag look like?

a. Red and white with provincial emblems.
b. Red with a white with a maple leaf.
c. Red and white with a marijuana leaf.

Give an example of how you can show responsibility by participating in your community.

a. Mind your own business.
b. Have a party.
c. Join a community group.

Which political party is in power in British Columbia?

a. New Democratic Party.
b. Social Credit Party.
c. The EEEEVIL bastard Conservatives.

When is Canada Day and what does it celebrate?

a. August 8th of each year to celebrate the joining of British Columbia to Confederation.
b. We celebrate the anniversary of Confederation July 1st of each year.
c. The birth of an intelligent, practical, peace-loving nation and the invention of donuts.

Now, obviously I played around a little with the answers, but there are two questions in there that I didn’t touch. Can you figure out which ones?

Last night I went to bed early, and Todd said - as he is wont to do, having grown up in Vermont, otherwise known as Baja Canada - “I’m sorry you’re so tired,” and I said, “Why do you always apologize for everything?” and he said, “I’m practicing to be a real Canadian,” and I said, “That should be on the Citizenship Test,” and Todd said, “If I were in charge, the test would be one question: ‘What two words are vital when living in Canada?’ and everyone would shout out, ‘I’m sorry!’ and I’d give them all their citizenship cards.”

I’m embarrassed to note that I took the sample test and got thirty seven questions wrong, almost all of them concerning the Canadian government. Looks like Paul and I will be doing a unit on Canadian Social Studies this year.

The American constitution guarantees life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the right to bear arms. The Canadian constitution cites peace, order, and good government.

I can’t wait for the day when I will stand up in front of a room full of people and say:

From this day forward, I pledge my loyalty and allegiance to Canada and Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, Queen of Canada. I promise to respect our country’s rights and freedoms, to defend out democratic values, to faithfully observe our laws and fulfil my duties and obligations as a Canadian citizen.

Take the Canadian Citizenship test. Be sure to choose “all” after Ask Me. Comment with your score.