What is the Quirky Quiz?
In the eighties, the other kids invited their friends over to play with Atari. I invited mine over to create audio shows. The Quiz is the adult realisation of that dream – bossing my talented friends around while they amuse you by playing Just a Minute, creating stories on the fly, imitating William Shatner, and revealing just how little they know about their own country. Who’s wearing the crown? I AM.

What’s the theme song?
“Life of Crime” by Toronto band New Kings.

Season 1 episode guide

Season 2

Episode 2.1: “Go, Pebble Kumquat, GO!”
Jacey saves her soul, I put a dog collar around Sasha’s neck, and Brenda just doesn’t understand how funny torture is.

Episode 2.2: In Love’s Bed
Mark seduces you with naan bread, I cast Bruce as the leading man in my dreams, and Tim flies to Moscow.

Episode 2.3: Don’t Blame It On the Mucous
Brenda thinks you should join the fan club she just founded, Tim’s fevered delusions come to life, and a snarling ninja swims the Indian Ocean, heading… for Sasha.

Episode 2.4: Like a Drunken British Girl on Holiday in Dublin
Brenda creates priceless modern art, Rebekkah tells us what she’d do with the ability to fly, and Zabet reveals her secret identity.

Episode 2.5: What is WRONG with those people in Illinois
Kymm fights a losing battle against her heartfelt emotions, Brian attempts to gain the edge on the other players by using a secret, villainous weapon, and Tim lurks in your flooded basement wearing a white mask, playing the piano and singing.

Episode 2.6: Roaming Bands of Dentists
Syne tells us all about her own personal marshmallow torture chamber, and the best way to enjoy their suffering. Kim accidentally demonstrates the clock in her head, which is operated by a My Little Pony Unicorn. And Jacey falls prey to one of those roaming bands of dentists we’re always hearing so much about.

Episode 2.7: And they never ate porridge again.
Kymm secretly moves to Finland for a month in order to perfect her accent. Brian waxes lyrical about hairy candy. Sage has no idea whatsoever what Brazilian food is like. And Tim goes mad with ambition and resorts to dark dirty underhanded storytelling play.

Episode 2.8: It’s an Obama world, Mark. It’s an Obama world.
Mark Blevis explains how calculus is the basis for all human life. Melissa Bartell wants to kill the Zamboni driver. Sage hasn’t set foot in the kitchen since 1991. And Tim Coyne tells us about the wonderous place where all your wishes come true: Mark Hymen’s lawn.

Episode 2.9: But that’s not Don’s fault.
Kim discards any man who misuses “you’re”. Paul does not attend the prom. Sage explains the formula for true love. And Will, despite our pleading screams, tells the most terrifying frisbee story known to man.

Episode 2.10: The Silent World Of Bella Abzug
Kymm Zuckert doesn’t know what those noises in the closet could possibly be. Tim Coyne is cold. Oh, so cold. Sage warns you about the back room in Burger King. And Melissa Bartell makes even gluten-free vegans crave waffles.

Episode 2.11: Lost and alone in the labyrinth of maths.
Thomas Jancis would have invited you in for a cup of tea, but it was pretty late. Will McGree gets points for channelling the correct dead man. Tim Ralphs pretends to cure your sick kid while really seducing the Czarina. And Sage explains the tremendous value of an American education.

Episode 2.12: I was having a BABY.
Shelly Brisbin is in a shiny green jacket waving her arms around while she fixes Texas. Kate Southey won’t admit it, but lives in one of one of the Outer Palaces. Kymm Zuckert has no time for the peasants, she is too busy hob-nobbing with Elvis. And Sage? Sage is sitting in your lap. You can’t tell, because she is invisible.